Monday, April 14, 2008

Work versus Me

I do not complain. I enjoy the work I do. I eat, drink, walk, sleep and breathe work. Work… that’s pretty much there is all to life right now.

Work piles up at a much faster rate than I can complete them. Deadlines are everywhere so much so I no longer know how to prioritize anymore because everything is equally important and their due dates are very near one other.

I’m beginning to feel the weight on my shoulders. Slowly but surely tiredness creeps up on me, holding me back and slowing me down. I do push myself but just not too hard lest I stumble on my face with dirt and grime in my teeth. And when I do, I somehow end up with “naps” in the midst of lectures, rejuvenating my mentally saturated mind.

I for one always look at the bright side of things. But right now, all I see is a mere glimmer that is diminishing with time. So many things, so little time. I’m tittering on the brinks of no hope and running out of drive and momentum.

Mum tried pacifying me saying that this will all be over in 2 months. But that is no consolation whatsoever. Yes, this will be over in a couple months. However just because it will reach an end soon does not make my work burden any lesser. Work will still need to be done and between now and June, I see a very long road ahead.

I’m drained, worn out like the tattered corners of my favourite book from reading and re-reading it over years. I do want to take a break but I can’t. The guilt conscious halts me from doing so. I am still strong inside but my edges are showing cracks. How long can I hold on? Only time will tell.

The glamour of being a final semester student is overrated. I will go back to my good old foundation days in a blink. Hhmmm… then again, it will mean another 5 years in Cowboy Uni, so I guess not.

I will stand by my principles, give my best and hope everything turns out great. Optimism is the best spirit to have yet and while my Optimism Badge is a little faded, I wear it proudly. I look for the small things that make life better. And today I got exactly what put me right up on cloud nine - the Rainforest World Music Festival. Watch out Kuching, Ohkulala will be painting the town red coming this July.

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