Friday, April 11, 2008



Have any of you felt utterly lost in a completely familiar place? If you have, do let me know how you got out of it because I don’t know how.

There is a cloud looming over my head for the past 2 days and I don’t even know what the hell is bothering me. I am just not myself. I walk along familiar paths and see a sea of familiar faces as I do every single day and yet why do I feel like I don’t belong.

I am clueless as to what triggered me to be like this. I am not particularly happy nor do I have any reasons to feel sad. I just don’t have the mood to do anything at all. Work is piling up and deadlines are screaming in my face and still I have no passion to get started on anything.

I wake up and go about my day in a daze. I smile, I wave, I laugh at something funny, I eat, I drink, I go about doing everything exactly the way I do it and that’s it. No emotions, no feelings, nothing, zilch, nada. *sigh* I even turned down an outing to Ipoh with my friends today. Very unlike me coz I love hanging out, just to get out of the Cowboy Town uni.

I am not tired; I have been sleeping more in fact lately. It can not stress be when all I do is slack, chill and relax falsely hoping that is what I need to get rid of this Thing. So, how am I going to solve something that I don’t even know what it is about? Maybe it is a phase, like a passing cloud on a sunny day. Maybe this is a sign of depression? Maybe a short-circuit took place in my brain while I took my countless naps hoping to sleep this off. *shrugs*

Lost at a familiar place.
Something new,
something unpleasant,
something inexperienced before,
something I don’t know how to solve,
something that is beginning to bug me,
something not permanent I hope,
something I pray is not serious.
some thing if something is something at all.

I’m not making any sense. So I shall stop here. *cloud looms over head*

Will I get this though? *wonders*

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me


Cmate said...

Love your post. Found ya on AllMalaysiaBlogger project. I'm adding you to my blogroll, if you don't mind me.

Ah Sha said...

think we've all experienced this before.

sometimes, it feels like you're smiling on the outside...but you're just not happy on the inside...?

but then again it could be just me. :P

Ohkulala said...

cmate: hello and welcome :). do go ahead and add me to your blogroll, its an honour.

Ah sha: i think we do go through this phase, its like some weird mood thingy. i feel much better now, thank god. phew