Monday, May 12, 2008

The beginning of the end

Right this moment I am sitting for my first paper of the final examination I’ll ever sit as an undergraduate here. Yes, I’ve scheduled the post. I kept searching within me the feelings I thought a final semester would be experiencing right now. Joy? Anxiousness to get rid of the paper? Glee from looking at the juniors who will be sitting for many many more papers? Sadness knowing instead of exams, I’ll be facing KPIs (key performance indicators) when I work? I really don’t know. There is no word to describe how I feel right now. There is just air, empty spaces of moment with nothing to fill the gaps within.

I’m not exactly excited neither unhappy, nor gleeful or worried. I’m just calm. I always thought I’ll be thrilled when this day arrives. I am at the final leg of my journey as a student, the glamour of being a final semester student can be rubbed in many faces, I’m getting out of this somewhat hell-hole for good and no more reading of notes, cramming hundreds of facts which will be unlikely used eventually. To think that the luxury of no longer having to deal with exams would be an event to remember. But it is not. It feels like how it feels with every other exam I have went through the last 9 semesters in Cowboy Town Uni. Nothing much has changed in terms of exam experience.

Perhaps the excitement hasn’t kicked in yet. I might feel the thrill of my supposed ecstasy of saying good riddance to this place when I sit for my Final Paper of my Finals. Maybe. Maybe not. I will take one day at a time. I guess with all the work burden I had previously, my emotions may be lagging. Hopefully it will catch up with my current pace.

All the best everyone. For all outgoing final sem students, let’s kick some real ass this time around!


puvanan said...

I never felt it all this while. But, today when I passed up my EIS answer script to the invigilator, I remained calm for a second. Then, it hit right into my head, "damn.. It's over! I'm gonna kiss this Uni goodbye"

Hmmm.. All the best for your remaining papers. A whole new world is waiting for us :)

Sakura said...

i know how u feel~i thot i'll b thrilled to know that i'm finally getting out of here, but somehow emptiness jz engulfs me.. i wonder why.. maybe i'm yet to be ready for the outside world.

eh eh, i'm outta topic here, actually i 1ted 2 say 'bestest of the best luck' for ur exam (",) c ya soon bk at home~miss ya!

Ohkulala said...

Puvanan: hahaha... i didnt get the whole "it's over". But i sure hope the world that's waiting for us will be kind.

Sakura: Thanks dear. Yeah, will definitely give you a buzz when i get home :). We'll totaly hangout and go makan2 like we always do!