Friday, October 31, 2008
PS: For those who are attending the Silent Halloween Nuffnang-Nokia party tmrw night, have a blast. It is unfortunate i'll be outstation. Enjoy!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
We still do hang out in Melaka but none of us go back religiously when the weekend comes by with the exception of a long weekend/ public holidays. It was awesome meeting up. Blur Blur joined us with his friend, Pau Pau who is literally in KL full time was also there, Budak Cerah too.
You know who’s missing – Sakura, Ah Ken and the very faraway Ketam. So, next time you look or change jobs, you know where to go yeah.*hints*
We had steamboat at Yuen’s Steamboat at Mentari Sunway. Getting there was a cute experience with Budak Cerah and Pau Pau came armed with a map. We still got lost (yeah la, Melaka only have 2 flyovers k) but arrived in good time. I ate, ate and ate and it took awhile to feel full. But it didn’t last, as I was going to bed, my stomach groaned in hunger. Poor me slept with hunger pangs.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
it is most unexplainable these feelings i'm experiencing and i hate every moment of it. not being able to put a finger to what acutally cause all this is slowly killing me inside. or maybe i do know the cause but am just running and hiding away from all of this. because hide and seek is so much easier than facing it.
the doubt that looms on my head, the puzzlement of how people can carry on with lives holding such tremendous, heart breaking secrets if they're were let out, trust people hold me on to and the same trust i put onto people i care most about. a part of me feels a lil guilty, like i had a part to play in this teeny tiny melodrama but that's not possible coz i only came into picture when the play was over after the curtain call. or could it be my conscience screaming at me. when i lose sight of black and white, grey is not my favourite colour. grey provides no comfort in assuring i'm right, it doesnt insist i did any wrong, it's just murky, hazy and fit for the confused. i'm entering confusion but not delusional as yet.
it will take days before this numbness and ache leaves me. but putting that blind plaster smile doesnt make that voice in my head shut up. everytime i'm alone, it slowly creeps onto me, eats me when i sleep, chewing me like termites to wood.
i feel sad, confused, disappointed, enraged, puzzled, amazed at myself but more so to a friend whom i can't quite expain in plain simple english of the possible consequences that may arise from the friend's actions. it is a mockery, perhaps even a karma payback. how can a person get upset over something, then do the same thing in varying degree to another person and yet use manipulative words to justify ones action? i tried reasoning it out and the justifications seem reasonable but only to a person who doesn't care enough. i care and i live with my conscience everyday. i need to be able to look at the person in the mirror and feel free. therefore i am not you. i really don't know how you do it.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye…
… Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again…
Sophie quickly changed the station but the song was already stuck in her head. She knew when Jake came back, never. But she has made progress for there were no tears anymore, just a blunt numbness wrapped tight around her heart.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Here were some remedies I’ve experimented on: I’ve tried getting myself really tired so that I would collapse in sheer exhaustion but that hasn’t worked. I tried reading before I sleep but The 4th Estate by Jeffrey Archer is very interesting, therefore this method too failed. And then I tried just doing nothing and hope boredom will lull me to slumber, alas, that didn’t happen either. So I resigned to fate and practically plonk myself on the bed around 12.30-1.00 am psyching myself to Zzzz as I have to wake up early for work.
Little did I realize the impact of this until today. As the LRT stop at one of the stations, I spotted the lady next to me checking her reflection, gently brushing away her stray hair, examining her makeup and clothes. I was smiling smugly coz here lied a lady who was so into her reflection, she didn’t realize her gestures was capturing the attention of those around her.
As I took a quick glance, I suddenly spotted the depth of the hallows of my eyes, it is as deep as the deepest ravines ever! I had no idea my eye bags were stretched to this extent. I examined my eyes closely when I got to office but the tell-tale sign of someone who hasn’t been her much needed 8 hour siesta is for all to see, like the Scarlet A burned to my face. Looking at the bright side of things, perhaps for the Nuffnang-Nokia Halloween party, I can just come as myself, the Zombie :P
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
So when I got home from work yesterday, there was a new sense of determination to cook a simple meal for dinner. You know the saying, to chop wood, make sure you have a sharp ax. That’s the thing, I’m missing the ax. Which translates to me not having everything I need to cook. Not wanting to give up, I marched up to the grocery store (it was drizzling, mind you!) nearby to find it disappointingly under stocked. The only thing I managed to get was rice and a vegetable.
As the drizzle developed into a shower, I geared up with my umbrella, head to the LRT station, drop at the next station and took a bus to the nearest Giant supermarket. It was not too bad, but the perishables are just terrible. I made do with the minimal I needed and headed home.
Cut, washed, prepared the ingredients and all ready to cook, when I realized I didn’t have a can opener to open a can of sardines! I made a list of things to buy but had no idea there was no can opener at home. Sigh… I went through all the effort, am halfway through my mission and am resolute to cook somehow. So I made some modifications and managed to cook dinner in the end.
What a cooking adventure! And my dinner was absolutely delicious. I think it had more to do with the fact I went through so much to cook and I was starving at 9pm for dinner. It felt really good to have a home-cooked meal, no matter how simple or that it is not even close to mum’s standard of cooking because it’s still so much better that food bought. And no, if someone were to ask me if I cook, my answer remains the same, “I don’t cook”. Why? I’m not telling.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
How can you have a party with no music or sound or dancing? Now, that’s not called a party, it’s a bunch of people overdressed for the library you say. But fear not coz the Nokia XpressMusic comes to the rescue. What has a handphone got to do with a Halloween party – everything!
The Nokia XpressMusic has tons of radio with one supporting European and Asian 3G networks, and another supporting North American 3G networks. Both versions also include Bluetooth 2.0 with stereo support, Wi-Fi, and a GPS. The mobile phone also allows media playback superbly. It comes along with a full 3.5-mm headset jack so it can be used with most stereo headphones. The high-quality stereo speakers can play quite loud which suits me really well coz I believe music (well, at least the genres I love) are best appreciated when heard loudly. I would be going "Please Don't Stop the Music!!" Yippee!
Not enough with the music, you can capture all your happy moments via the 3.2 megapixel camera which includes a Carl Zeiss lens, autofocus, and dual-LED flash. If you find still pictures boring, try catching a candid video which can be recorded at 30 frames per second. So we camwhores can bob to music while saying *cheese*.
I can’t wait for the silent Halloween party because with Nokia’s XpressMusic, nothing is really silent afterall. For more information, mousey *here*
Monday, October 6, 2008
In fact, I felt I should have forfeited my 1.5 days of sleeping and headed out to catch up with my friends instead. In trying to meet everyone I can, family to spend time with and also my beauty sleep which is a luxury I no longer have since starting work, I rushed in the last 2 days between people and places. I do feel awful about it, it is really unfair to meet up with a friend for 1.5 hours and then having to dash off somewhere else.
Raya is a quiet affair for me. I went to one open house and was helping myself to all the yummylicious cookies. I miss just having such delicacies to munch on when I’m bored or just itching to eat something. Seriously, if my skin was any thicker, I probably could have summoned enough courage to ask the aunty if I could tapau some for myself. Every single kuih raya was delightful to my taste buds which didn’t discriminate between the butter, chocolate, peanut butter and the myriad of flavours of each cookie. I’m already getting hungry typing this out.
With promises to meet up in KL and Melaka, I do hope on catching up with my friends soon. I do think we may eventually hang out more in KL since quite a number of us are based all over the Klang Valley save Ah Ken and Sakura whose presence will be missed dearly. I didn’t realize how dependent I have become to Sakura for all her food recommendations, I miss having her around.
Till the next cookie filled Raya, hope everyone had a fantabulous weekend.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
She’s another one of the reasons why I feel looking good makes a fantastic day. She’s never without her smile, very cheerful, positive, helpful and excellent at her job. I have yet to see her having a bad day. Of course I’m not implying that because a person dressed well doesn’t have a bad day but if you can find that one thing to cheer you up, it becomes less stressful.
So here I am, absorbing the runway (aka the corridor) to see what she has to sashay for day. I take in small pointers from her and store them in my mind. If I see something similar which could match my outfit, I know how to style it up. Now, who says office is all about work?