Nothing is enough

The brown eyes circled in grey
The very enchanting eyelashes
The slender long fingers
Sturdy, firm arms
The way the two palms fit like
lock and key.

The scarf hiding the beautiful hair
The innocent shy smile
The sincere, genuine words which
melts the heart
like barbequed marshmallows
sends the shivers down the spine
and butterflies in the stomach.

Every imperfection adds character
The scars so personal, they hurt,
The embrace so tight
it grips the heart, mind and soul
The missing and longing of
the warmth, touch, nearness and presence
One makes all the difference
and nothing is ever enough.

The Story of Conversation

I’m trying to put down these few things into words with the softest hint of instrumental tunes at the background to crease out my thoughts. But with only 2 hours of sleep, my already limited vocabulary is failing me and I can’t really paint a picture of what I want to say. So instead of trying to explain, perhaps a story will do better justice to the impression I’m trying to convey.

“You have a conversation where the rest of the world shuts of, it is only you and the person seated next to you that matters. The surroundings start out loud and noisy, busy with the family of 40 members seated next to the two of you. Neither realized when did the jim bang trickled out. Eventually the lights start switching off before you realize how much time has passed. You feel like going for a long walk, something not done in a very long time. The other suggested a car ride and off both of you went touring the streets of the metropolitan city with no destination in mind. Just bright lights, rights and lefts, roundabouts, missed turns and sometime even going in circles. But it was fun.

A small tour of yesteryear landmarks and sandwiches at the everything-under-the-sky-stall, which brought back thoughts of carefree college days, ended the night. But in essence, the two know it wasn’t the food, crowd or ride which was significant. Tête-à-tête was the glue to the beautiful night, to the seemingly endless exchange of words, ideas, opinions, swapping of stories, history, childhood memories. You could have sat down, talked and did nothing else but went home feeling like you had best time ever.”


That was the emotion I wanted to capture. Oh, and the lack of sleep? Totally worth it.

It feels like high school

There were some things in high school which fades and then there are some which sticks till my grown up years.

“The Girl stalls at the corridor hoping to catch a glance at The Boy. Then there were the calls to the house phone where into the 20th minute, someone had to use the phone. The internet brought upon e-cards and long msn chats, again till someone had to use the computer. It is also the time where your heart skips a beat, you can’t help smiling, everything seems so magical. The excitement when The Boy comes over to say hi, chit chat for a bit in full view of your friends who are giggling behind your back.”

Ah yes, the high school days.

All those flashback both from experience and of friends kept my mind occupied during my 35 minute LRT ride to work this morning. In about a month, I will be 24 years old. Yet some things don’t go away even if you have aged 10 years from being a teenager.

The heart still skips a beat. The giggling has died but the excitement lives. Emails / Facebook have taken precedence over online chats. No one will bug me 20 minutes into the conversation because I have a handphone. Gone are the days about favourite bands (BSB & N’Sync comes to mind), the famous celebrities and hunks, the latest movies, who’s-with-who. This has evolved into talk about ourselves, interests, the looming economic downturn, political circus of our country, unit trusts, aspirations. “Hanging out” no longer revolves around a mall.

Yeah, I have grown but a thing like a crush is here to stay.

A Day of Rant and Vent

A rather upset Kul is writing this. So if you’re not into reading ranty posts, pls do not proceed any further.

I got ticked off today for something that is completely no fault of mine nor my wrongdoing. And it’s upsetting because I know the person who scolded me, A, should have channeled the vents of a job not well done to the actual person itself. Instead, I was at the receiving end of a lecture I did not deserve.

I am trying to rationalize it out so as to not get upset. But I really can’t. Thinking it is different from internalizing it. Some of the reasons I came up with: Perhaps A is tired coz we had a mentally challenging and exhausting day. The lash could be due to tiredness. Perhaps I was there at the wrong place, wrong time. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps….

But whatever the reason, I still felt the pinch. And I’m not happy about it.

So I started to rationalize myself instead. I got ticked off. And when I was leaving, it was pouring cat, dogs and whiskers which made me miss the badminton game I really wanted to go for. Walking with an umbrella while the rain was resonating my very upset sentiments at its peak, it also spoiled one of my favourite pairs of shoes.

On my walk home, semi lost in my thoughts, I realized something. I felt it, the fury, the anger and frustration of someone who vented on me. Those emotions and sentiments which would have in the past just bounced off me actually seeped and infringed it my heart in the most unexpected way. I have (finally!) developed some sense of sensitivity!

Strange? Well, not so if you have known me through the years. I’m almost incapable of being hurt emotionally because I never ever let anyone’s words and opinions, bothered me. However, that is not always a good thing because I didn’t really understood or practiced the sensitivity level most people function on.

And one more thing came to mind. The upsetness actually led to my bad day. Had I not been upset about the tick off, I probably wouldn’t be unhappy bout my spoilt shoes or the weather or the badminton game I missed. Things do go in circles.

Well, I’m done venting. I’ve decided to channel all of it here instead of bottling it inside. Not bad, two realisations in one day. *pat*pat* Now back to normal operating conditions. If you’ve read everything, sekian, terima kasih.

Phew....

you know how it feels to face something tough and dreading the moment to it?

i had this thing and while i know i have done my very best, it's hard to gauge expectations when you are given no indication or benchmarking. i was pretty much alone and had to simply figure it out. the figuring out wasn't the hard part, it is knowing whether what i figured out is actually correct or not; that was tough.

anyways, i received my feedback and boy, i'm relieved its over. and no, i didnt lose any sleep on it but i dislike questioning myself again and again, making sure, double checking, triple checking and if i do it anymore, i'm the new obsessive compulsive in town.

i can breathe more easily now. PHEW.... boy, am i glad it is over.

if you're wondering why am i being so vague about this thing, well, that's coz, i dont even know if i'm suppose to talk about it. while its technically not really personal but when there is a blur line, i'd keep it vague. bear with me wont you?

looking forward to a relaxing weekend with great food!

how do you...

...pick up the courage to admit something you're not willing to admit? and having to do the admitting part to someone else. or maybe you dont admit, but just tell/ confess/ ramble/ blurt out a string of words to try to explain what the hell you want to say. sounds complicated right? coz it is!

i am surprised at myself. i'm hardly the one who's scared to speak my mind. now i'm contended to just sit and do nothing although inside there is the incessant voice which refuses to shut up.

i just hope i dont regret this, regreting what i should have done or if its too late. afterall, i always say, no harm trying. if it doesn't work out, at least i've tried. hah... so much easier said than done.

so what do i do? try or don't even bother? seriously, it's a lil scary.

An empty mind...

...is said to be the devil's workshop. but i dont think it has reached that point yet. i'm just rather restless. everyday is a routine, there is nothing to look forward to.

i wake up, get dressed
work work work
lunch
work work
get crammed in sardine packed lrt
shower and dinner
surf the net, check emails, facebook
read
bed

tomorrow the whole day repeats itself. weekends are a lil better, there is always a play to catch, and i can count the invitations to pool parties, or if i'm really up for it, clubbing. but they no longer appeal to me. its been there, done that.

i guess i'm looking for something more meaningful. i have the weekends in my hands and as much as i really enjoy my sleep (coz 6 hours on mon-fri ain't enough), i need something to look forward to. make a contribution to society, help someone in need, learn a new skill, go dancing like i've always wanted to, just something. a breeze of fresh air.

i want a vacation. the weather and i, however, are not on agreeable terms. so the vacation will have to wait.

i'm already rambling. its the partially empty mind i'm telling you.

What do you see?

From the outside,
you see a pretty face,
with a hint of rouge,
shade of rose on her lips,
hair with curls around the ears.
Fair skin with dark hair,
Deep set eyes,
Someone who is almost serene
in the midst of madness and chaos.

What you don’t know is
She plays the organ,
Never wears a bikini
Always punctual and hates those who are not
Talks too much as she can’t live with the deafening silence
Enjoys a good book before she sleeps
Thinks movies are overrated
And theater are deserving of more
Adores babies and well behaved kids
Like her chocolates dark and Belgian,
Flowers should only be a single red rose.

Underneath the face,
She too gets scared
Sometimes worries too much
And the walls of her heart are kept high
to protect herself from getting hurt,
to keep others from seeing what’s truly inside,
for fear of letting people in.

But really, how can you tell
When all you’re allowed to see
Is a bright smile, a bubbly upfront,
Always sure, bold and ready with an answer,
Not everyone’s cup of tea.

The face on the mirror
Doesn’t always replicate what you see,
You see what you want,
And you see what is shown
It is after all, just a reflection.

Father of the Year

Yesterday, I saw a dad carrying his month old baby. Not the mum, the dad. It was a beautiful sight, the tiny bundle snug in the sturdy hands of whom he will call papa one day. Daddy dear walked a lil straighter, proud of his baby and kept close to Mum. He made sure she had a good seat, settled her bag filled with baby essentials and carefully handed baby over. About half hour later, he came over to check if both baby and mum are doing well. And the whole process repeated. He carried the baby (the right way mind you!), fixed the clothes, helped the mum with the bag and left.

Every single movement caught my eye. And I’m absolutely certain; mine wasn’t the only pair of eyes fixed on this man. It is so rare to see a dad holding and caring for a child instead of just the mum that I felt a little stunned at what was unfolding in front of me. It’s a little sad don’t you think that even I have became accustomed to seeing only mothers with babies.

Yesterday, a man earned a new found respect. Men are from venus and woman from mars but on earth yesterday, this one single man gave me new light and hope of my fellow comrades. May more of this caring, fatherly figures who are unafraid to display love and affection, lest being called tak macho or controlled-by-your-wife, be part of my generation. Wishful thinking? I hope to be proven wrong.

Rain

Rain,
When it falls,
Carries the sorrows of a person,
Flushes it away in the stream of water,
And leaves behind an emptiness more hollow than before.

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

So I was lucky enough to win four tickets to watch the screening of Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa courtesy of AMBP. As my expectations for movies are near impossible, I decided to not put any hope to avoid disappointment. However, a long day of work took care of that, I had no time to consider how the movie would turn out.

Madagascar 2 continues from the first movie but for those who didn’t catch the first installation, worry not, the movie is pretty stand alone. This time, the 4 good friends, Alex the lion, Gloria the hippo, Melman the giraffe and Marty the zebra landed (literally!) in Africa in their attempt to get back to New York City. There they met with their fellow kind and felt completely at home, Roots as you would call it.

The movie was brilliant. The script is witty, with fantastic one-liners, a great story line and memorable characters which kept the entire audience in stitches. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much in a movie. I came out feeling so good, the perfect remedy to kick away the Monday blues or exam blues or whatchamacallit. So if you’re in for a good, relaxing time, I completely recommend a dose or two of Madagascar.

Anyone interested in a second run, let me know :). FYI, the only movie I watched more than once was The Dark Knight. And of course, they are incomparable in terms of delivery, but seriously, Madagascar 2 is deserving of a second helping.

I Like to Move It, Move It

I like to move it, move it.

She like to move it, move it

He like to move it, move it

You like to... *move it*!

Yes indeed, the loveable animals from the movie Madagascar are back to amuse and entertain us in their Escape 2 Africa. And that song was stuck in my head for a week coz its so catchy! I can’t wait to see what adventure the 4 friends will be in this time around.

"What are the names of the four unlikely friends in the movie Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa?"
Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Melman the Giraffe and Gloria the Hippo.

And yes, if you’re wondering why the sudden Q&A, AMBP is giving away tickets to the special screening for the movie. For more information, mousey *here*.

Open for Business

I finally received my business card today. It was placed right there on my desk, a nice present after a solid good friday lunch. Yippee! Now I get to exchange cards when I’m out, how awesome is that, so proper, business and executive like. Let’s see who will be the lucky one to get my first card. I have a feeling this will happen very soon.

PS: For those who are attending the Silent Halloween Nuffnang-Nokia party tmrw night, have a blast. It is unfortunate i'll be outstation. Enjoy!

Melakans in KL

It was Ah Dan’s Birthday yesterday and we melakans who are now based in the Klang Valley got together for a small celebration to mark another year for Ah Dan dear. The same gang that hangs out in Melaka is now here, in a different state, chilling and having a great time. Change of location was just a matter of time as most of us are based here.

We still do hang out in Melaka but none of us go back religiously when the weekend comes by with the exception of a long weekend/ public holidays. It was awesome meeting up. Blur Blur joined us with his friend, Pau Pau who is literally in KL full time was also there, Budak Cerah too.

You know who’s missing – Sakura, Ah Ken and the very faraway Ketam. So, next time you look or change jobs, you know where to go yeah.*hints*

We had steamboat at Yuen’s Steamboat at Mentari Sunway. Getting there was a cute experience with Budak Cerah and Pau Pau came armed with a map. We still got lost (yeah la, Melaka only have 2 flyovers k) but arrived in good time. I ate, ate and ate and it took awhile to feel full. But it didn’t last, as I was going to bed, my stomach groaned in hunger. Poor me slept with hunger pangs.

Because I am not you

it is most unexplainable these feelings i'm experiencing and i hate every moment of it. not being able to put a finger to what acutally cause all this is slowly killing me inside. or maybe i do know the cause but am just running and hiding away from all of this. because hide and seek is so much easier than facing it.

the doubt that looms on my head, the puzzlement of how people can carry on with lives holding such tremendous, heart breaking secrets if they're were let out, trust people hold me on to and the same trust i put onto people i care most about. a part of me feels a lil guilty, like i had a part to play in this teeny tiny melodrama but that's not possible coz i only came into picture when the play was over after the curtain call. or could it be my conscience screaming at me. when i lose sight of black and white, grey is not my favourite colour. grey provides no comfort in assuring i'm right, it doesnt insist i did any wrong, it's just murky, hazy and fit for the confused. i'm entering confusion but not delusional as yet.

it will take days before this numbness and ache leaves me. but putting that blind plaster smile doesnt make that voice in my head shut up. everytime i'm alone, it slowly creeps onto me, eats me when i sleep, chewing me like termites to wood.

i feel sad, confused, disappointed, enraged, puzzled, amazed at myself but more so to a friend whom i can't quite expain in plain simple english of the possible consequences that may arise from the friend's actions. it is a mockery, perhaps even a karma payback. how can a person get upset over something, then do the same thing in varying degree to another person and yet use manipulative words to justify ones action? i tried reasoning it out and the justifications seem reasonable but only to a person who doesn't care enough. i care and i live with my conscience everyday. i need to be able to look at the person in the mirror and feel free. therefore i am not you. i really don't know how you do it.

Jet Lag Jet Plane

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye…

… Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again…

Sophie quickly changed the station but the song was already stuck in her head. She knew when Jake came back, never. But she has made progress for there were no tears anymore, just a blunt numbness wrapped tight around her heart.

Zombie-fied

For the past 2 weeks, I haven’t been able to sleep well. It’s definitely not the mosquitos since I’ve put up the No Entry sign loud and clear on all possible entrances to the room. See, I’m crapping and that’s coz I’m really zombie-fied. I know it isn’t exactly a word, its more something I made up to describe my persistent sleeping problem. Zombie-fied me literally zone out, look blur and tired, going about work and everyday chores in a haze.

Here were some remedies I’ve experimented on: I’ve tried getting myself really tired so that I would collapse in sheer exhaustion but that hasn’t worked. I tried reading before I sleep but The 4th Estate by Jeffrey Archer is very interesting, therefore this method too failed. And then I tried just doing nothing and hope boredom will lull me to slumber, alas, that didn’t happen either. So I resigned to fate and practically plonk myself on the bed around 12.30-1.00 am psyching myself to Zzzz as I have to wake up early for work.

Little did I realize the impact of this until today. As the LRT stop at one of the stations, I spotted the lady next to me checking her reflection, gently brushing away her stray hair, examining her makeup and clothes. I was smiling smugly coz here lied a lady who was so into her reflection, she didn’t realize her gestures was capturing the attention of those around her.

As I took a quick glance, I suddenly spotted the depth of the hallows of my eyes, it is as deep as the deepest ravines ever! I had no idea my eye bags were stretched to this extent. I examined my eyes closely when I got to office but the tell-tale sign of someone who hasn’t been her much needed 8 hour siesta is for all to see, like the Scarlet A burned to my face. Looking at the bright side of things, perhaps for the Nuffnang-Nokia Halloween party, I can just come as myself, the Zombie :P

The Jamie Oliver Experience

I’ve been meaning to cook for awhile but last week was crazy busy, I was away and had no time. The cooking utensils were brought over from home during the raya weekend and every time I step into the kitchen, it is as if they are mocking me, teasing me, challenging me to not let them be the white elephants of the kitchen.

So when I got home from work yesterday, there was a new sense of determination to cook a simple meal for dinner. You know the saying, to chop wood, make sure you have a sharp ax. That’s the thing, I’m missing the ax. Which translates to me not having everything I need to cook. Not wanting to give up, I marched up to the grocery store (it was drizzling, mind you!) nearby to find it disappointingly under stocked. The only thing I managed to get was rice and a vegetable.

As the drizzle developed into a shower, I geared up with my umbrella, head to the LRT station, drop at the next station and took a bus to the nearest Giant supermarket. It was not too bad, but the perishables are just terrible. I made do with the minimal I needed and headed home.

Cut, washed, prepared the ingredients and all ready to cook, when I realized I didn’t have a can opener to open a can of sardines! I made a list of things to buy but had no idea there was no can opener at home. Sigh… I went through all the effort, am halfway through my mission and am resolute to cook somehow. So I made some modifications and managed to cook dinner in the end.

What a cooking adventure! And my dinner was absolutely delicious. I think it had more to do with the fact I went through so much to cook and I was starving at 9pm for dinner. It felt really good to have a home-cooked meal, no matter how simple or that it is not even close to mum’s standard of cooking because it’s still so much better that food bought. And no, if someone were to ask me if I cook, my answer remains the same, “I don’t cook”. Why? I’m not telling.

‘I’m Going Silent this Halloween with Nokia XpressMusic‘

When I saw the word Halloween, my mind was already racing. And to put Halloween with Nokia XpressMusic, I wanted jump up and down like a naughty monkey from excitement. The most interesting bit is that Halloween would be silent this party around.

How can you have a party with no music or sound or dancing? Now, that’s not called a party, it’s a bunch of people overdressed for the library you say. But fear not coz the Nokia XpressMusic comes to the rescue. What has a handphone got to do with a Halloween party – everything!


The Nokia XpressMusic has tons of radio with one supporting European and Asian 3G networks, and another supporting North American 3G networks. Both versions also include Bluetooth 2.0 with stereo support, Wi-Fi, and a GPS. The mobile phone also allows media playback superbly. It comes along with a full 3.5-mm headset jack so it can be used with most stereo headphones. The high-quality stereo speakers can play quite loud which suits me really well coz I believe music (well, at least the genres I love) are best appreciated when heard loudly. I would be going "Please Don't Stop the Music!!" Yippee!


Not enough with the music, you can capture all your happy moments via the 3.2 megapixel camera which includes a Carl Zeiss lens, autofocus, and dual-LED flash. If you find still pictures boring, try catching a candid video which can be recorded at 30 frames per second. So we camwhores can bob to music while saying *cheese*.

I can’t wait for the silent Halloween party because with Nokia’s XpressMusic, nothing is really silent afterall. For more information, mousey *here*

The Raya Weekend

My only complaint about raya weekend was that 5 days wasn’t enough to be called a break. Before heading back to home sweet home, I figured 5 days in office seem to pass rather slowly so 5 days home is more than enough time to do much. Oh, how wrong was I.

In fact, I felt I should have forfeited my 1.5 days of sleeping and headed out to catch up with my friends instead. In trying to meet everyone I can, family to spend time with and also my beauty sleep which is a luxury I no longer have since starting work, I rushed in the last 2 days between people and places. I do feel awful about it, it is really unfair to meet up with a friend for 1.5 hours and then having to dash off somewhere else.

Raya is a quiet affair for me. I went to one open house and was helping myself to all the yummylicious cookies. I miss just having such delicacies to munch on when I’m bored or just itching to eat something. Seriously, if my skin was any thicker, I probably could have summoned enough courage to ask the aunty if I could tapau some for myself. Every single kuih raya was delightful to my taste buds which didn’t discriminate between the butter, chocolate, peanut butter and the myriad of flavours of each cookie. I’m already getting hungry typing this out.

With promises to meet up in KL and Melaka, I do hope on catching up with my friends soon. I do think we may eventually hang out more in KL since quite a number of us are based all over the Klang Valley save Ah Ken and Sakura whose presence will be missed dearly. I didn’t realize how dependent I have become to Sakura for all her food recommendations, I miss having her around.

Till the next cookie filled Raya, hope everyone had a fantabulous weekend.

Office Runway

To beat any possible office blues, I take small pleasure in dressing up for work. I believe when you look good, you feel good and that translates into productive work leading to a great day. Everytime I walk into the ladies, I flash a bright smile at the floor-to-ceiling mirror which I totally heart. No matter how boring or busy the day is, to see the reflection of a nice top, well matched belt, butterfly ring on my finger or scarf around my neck is bound to make me feel happy again. So no surprise I flash another smile at myself before exiting. But really, I can’t help it. If that’s one of the small little things that make my day, I don’t see why I shouldn’t enjoy it.

There is a secretary in my office who is immaculately dressed everyday. In fact, I admire her sense of dress, style, colour coordination, everything! She can go from sheer minimalist to pure extravagant and yet has never once looked over-the-top or tacky. I think she’s gotten down the art of dressing up at the back of her hand.

She’s another one of the reasons why I feel looking good makes a fantastic day. She’s never without her smile, very cheerful, positive, helpful and excellent at her job. I have yet to see her having a bad day. Of course I’m not implying that because a person dressed well doesn’t have a bad day but if you can find that one thing to cheer you up, it becomes less stressful.

So here I am, absorbing the runway (aka the corridor) to see what she has to sashay for day. I take in small pointers from her and store them in my mind. If I see something similar which could match my outfit, I know how to style it up. Now, who says office is all about work?

My First Pay Cheque

When I was studying and looking for a job, I had many ideals of how was I going to utilize my first pay cheque. I say utilize because the word spend sounds a tad negative. It sort of implies I’m going to spend the entire salary away in one go.

i always had the impression that when my first salary is in, I would be leaping for joy, jumping straight into the atm queue to get my hands on my moolah. And I would be off utitilizing it fully. Firstly, to give some to my parents and of course to take the family out for dinner. Treat my close friends. Give some to temple, that’s the least I can do because I’ve been really blessed and am very thankful. To get a new handphone, a really good, expensive, out of this world ridiculously fabulous handphone because I deserve one. Shopping! And the rest would be for savings.

The reality of the situation turned out so differently. When I heard that my pay was in, it felt like any ordinary day with the exception that my bank balance has increased somewhat. I did not rush to the atm to withdraw money to buy anything I had always thought I would. I did go to the atm machine 4 days later, but just to make sure the money was indeed banked in. And it was not till I inserted my card in that I realized I could do my banking online. I felt so silly!

The new handphone; I decided I didn’t need one. The current one functions just fine after a battery change. In fact, I think the idea of a new super duper canggih handphone where I would only use say 5 of its gazzilion features is nothing but an ego booster, a feel good material item so show off because the phone looks sophisticated when I take it out to answer a call or text message. But really, isn’t a phone’s main function is to make and receive calls and sms? My phone does that excellently. I won’t deny I would like a new phone but perhaps when the current one goes completely bonkers on me, then I know it would not be an impulse buy.

The shopping was minimized to the absolute essentials as I have almost everything I need. I’m really proud of myself to be able to hold so still with all the sales going on. The treats will proceed as I intended, so would all the rest. And instead of a handphone, I’m thinking of taking up a life insurance policy instead.

So what’s so exciting about my first pay cheque? The fact that I’m actually an independent person, that I’ve earned my dues, I’m a working adult, not a mere child anymore. It makes me feel more matured, like I’m grown up so much in just 2 months. That feeling is one of the best feelings I’ve had so far and no amount of shopping or a sophisticated phone can ever replace that.

Office Refurbishment

Due to the number of newcomers in the office, we have ran out of workstations for everyone resulting in some of us having to share spaces. Therefore, during the weekend, my wing of the floor underwent a refurbishment to rearrange the furniture and resize the workstations to accommodate everyone.

When I came in, I noticed I now have neighbours on my right, left and behind. I no longer face the corridor to the ladies and am not seated at the secretary’s spot. But asides all that, my workstation has also shrank!

There were a number of complaints over the smaller area we now have especially those who have a large number of things. Moving cubicles is like moving house for some and I kid you not when I say my colleagues have the same amount of things I had when I moved to KL!

My cubicle has gone from a 4x5 panels to 3x4 but I have no complaints coz my old space was huge and very under utilized. At least now I don’t feel so small surrounded by so much blank space because the size is just right for me.

I also love love love my new spot because I’m no longer isolated. Those around me are friendly, cheerful and helpful. The mornings are the best when everyone comes in, says good morning very brightly, checks on each other to make sure we’re all set for the day and starts working. It’s pretty nice being where loads of exciting things takes place. Gosh, how left out I am for the last 6 weeks!

Blood Donation …

… to the dearest mosquitoes of Casa Maya last night resulted in me running out of hands to scratch the bites. I now look like a recovering chicken pox patient :(

The English Language

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about ?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

A shocking discovery

2 days ago, my collegue came up to me all excited to tell me a story of how much I remind her of her good friend's daughter. The part where we're tall, thin and have similar features are pretty usual to me. A lot of people have told me that I remind them of someone they know - sibling, friend, classmate, neighbour's sister-in-law's uncle's daughter's niece's godsister, you know the whole works. I either look like someone, or sound like someone. I'm already beginning to think how common I am, no special factor :(.

Anyways, the last portion of the story was the most interesting bit. "Asides all that (tall, thin, similar features), you both are quiet." I looked at her all stunned, shock written all over my face and then quickly covered it with a smile before she noticed.

Quiet? Like seriously? How is that possible? I can bet a gazzilion pounds that all my friends and family members will never use the adjective quiet to describe me. Because i'm not. What they would say is this, "Oh, that girl ah, she can talk non-stop wan. Mouth never get tired at all"

Why do you think this blog is called the Mouth Marathon? Simply because it describes me pretty accurately. I'm talkative, bubbly, highly excitable and should never be seen high with coffee.

Episode 2 happened yesterday. Another colleague came over and said this, "You're very quiet aren't you? No work also quiet, now got work, you've become even quieter". I just nodded with my head exploding - QUIET??!!

Well, that shows how much people in office know me huh? I brought it up with a friend and there's 3 ways of looking at it.
1. You could be quietly productive, get your work done excellently and the boss knows it.
2. You are quiet but people mistake that for unfriendliness or even arrogance.
3. A bit of both.

In my defense, I am indeed quieter in the office because everyone else is. I'm seated at the corner so I do not have neighbors on my right. Behind me is a whole wall of cabinets and a printer. The corridor opposite me leads to the pantry and the ladies room. The person to my right is an extremely busy manager who is hardly around. And this person is around the 40's. What am i going to talk about - wife/husband and kids? So you see, there is no one really to talk to nor do people come up to talk to me.

But please, I'm not quiet nor arrogant, just a tad quieter. Get to know me a little better and trust me, you'll be in for a pleasant surprise.

So what am i? The selective speaker. *winks*

Plus One

Dear Diary,


It’s once said, the loneliest number is one. Today, I agree with that statement. I’d rather endure the sleepless nights wondering if you’re ok from being so far away from me, countless fights because I know deep down you care, tears of happiness when you surprise me so lovingly, than to spend one single night alone. It is so scary to be here in my own room without having you in my thoughts to comfort me. When I wake up, I don’t have you to text saying good morning and that I love you. As I turn of the lights at night, I don’t have someone to talk to about my day. Minus one, I feel scared and lost without my rock, my pillar of strength, the one I run to tell of my smallest news, divide my worries and shoulder my sorrows. Yes, one is a lonely number.


Sophie heaved a deep sigh and shut her diary.

False Alarm

My weekend was absolutely interesting in the oddest way. Since I’ve started working, I have been staying at my aunt’s place. I moved in yesterday to my place which will from now on be referred to as Maya Casa. Maya means dream or illusion while casa is castle so put together it’s the Castle of Dreams.

On Saturday on my way to Maya Casa, I had the strangest cramp and the pain lasted throughout the day. I didn’t make mention of it to anyone coz I could still tolerate the pain. And I figured it would eventually subside. The pain gradually got worse at night but I still tahan la.

By the time Sunday morning, I couldn’t stand straight anymore and the lower right side right under the tummy freaking hurts. I was walking like a hunched old woman tugging her tummy. Dad got me to the clinic and the doctor suspected I have a case of appendicitis. However, he said I look pretty comfortable for an appendicitis patient. I was referred to the hospital just in case.

The alternative was to wait for about 6 hours and if the pain gets worse, I should get admitted so I picked this option instead. He prescribed some painkillers, I popped one, slept and woke up with the pain in tact. So my original plan to move in to KJ on Sunday morning had to be postponed.

Since sleep wasn’t helping, I decided to go ahead and move in to Maya Casa after lunch. While helping my dad with the cleaning up, I suddenly realized that I could actually stand straight and the pain has vanished! I was so surprised coz I didn’t notice it earlier. I guess I somehow recovered along the 45 min journey from Aunt’s Place to Maya Casa!

Of course my dad was still concerned coz it’s hard to believe that someone who could barely walk an hour ago can recover just like that. He wanted me to stay at my aunt’s place one more night just to be sure but I convinced him I was fine. And true enough, the pain didn’t come back and I’m as good as new. The false alarm was so not plesant.

The puzzling part is this – what caused the awful 2 day cramp which really felt like appendicitis and how in the world could the pain just disappear? That’s a mystery I have yet to uncover. But I’m super duper thankful that the pain is no more, I do not have appendicitis, no hospital and no surgery. I pray this episode won’t make a comeback.

Sleep Sleep Go Away

Seriously, I’m dying of boredom. Asides attending 3 meetings and consolidating data for a document, I’ve been doing nothing but reading manual after manual after manual. And these manuals are not designed to keep me awake. Reading them is akin to reading an entire textbook filled with technical jargon.

I’m not saying that the manuals are not educational. To the contrary, I’ve actually picked up a lot of information of what my group and department does as a whole, the systems in place utilized to help one another etc. but seriously, if I had to read another manual, I’m not so sure if I can keep sane anymore! It is becoming a very conscious effort to stay awake in the world of terminologies and thousands of acronyms.

For crying out loud, just give me something to photostate or type or something. I’d rather do clerical work even than to be staring at Arial font size 11, single spacing, justified paragraphs of my manuals.

Sigh… someone pray I don’t nod off. Or if I do, then pray nobody sees me.

The Moi Who Didn’t Fast

I wanted a change in outfit from the usual corporate wear so I donned a baju kurung instead today. Wearing the usual slacks, skirts and collared shirts are getting a little too routine so I decided to throw something traditional in to spice things up.

And the reaction it got me was rather amusing especially from those working in my department, which I have decided to name the Prefect Board. I’ll get to its name in another post yeah. So many people were excited to see a non-malay wearing a baju kurung and I had quite a number of compliments on how nice my baju kurung is.

Inside I was chuckling coz I only have 2 baju kurungs in my entire wardrobe and this is a really old one which had made not more than 5 appearances since 5 years ago when I bought it. In fact, it is an extremely simple outfit, nothing fancy and I know how much nicer my colleagues baju kurungs look like.

The best part is I got loads of people outside my department confused as I unashamedly ate my tuna sandwich at the pantry without any guilt or remorse. You see, they actually thought I was malay girl! I even heard two ladies whispering to each other about me not fasting (quite kepo huh don’t you think?) until someone said I’m not malay. And when I went for lunch at the nearby foodcourt, I could feel dagger stares penetrating through my thin and tiny frame for queuing for food.

When the office boy left for home (those fasting leave at 4pm), he turned around and said “Moi, jangan lupa buka puasa tau.” There you go; a supposed Chinese girl in a baju kurung not fasting. Hang on, I look Chinese?? *puzzled*

Ang Pows for Merdeka

As weird as this sounds, I received a number of ang pows during my Merdeka family gathering. In fact, I don't remember receiving so many ang pows even for Chinese New Year! So, how come ang pows on National Day?
Well, its for my graduation! I had no idea my uncles and aunties were going to give me those red packets. I've already gotten so much support and love, beautiful messages and emails from them about my recent convocation (it's exactly a week ago, oh, how time flies!) and this was so unexpected in the most pleasant way.

Well, like most girls (ok la, just me) , the money can be spent in one or two shopping trips. So, i got myself to the bank and deposited the money in *like a good girl* cheh. I am hoping to go for a holiday at the end of the year so this will be part of my vacation fund. Now, where should i go for holiday? hhmmm.....

Mortar boards and Convocation Robes

The anticipation of this one special day flew in a blink of an eye. I remember checking the uni’s website for updates, banking in money for the ceremony, making the necessary arrangements for function which ended in less than 3 hours!

My friends and I at long last (5 years feels like an eternity if you study in Cowboy Town uni) graduated last Sunday in a very short and sweet ceremony. For the first time this year, the convocation was broken into 2 sessions as the number of graduates has increased tremendously from the previous years.

I wished I took an individual shot of my robes coz they were huge!! I looked so funny in it, it felt like a bat suit! I spotted my family with ease as we walked to our seats. I saw three pair of hand waving furiously with huge smiles plastered on their faces; my sisters and Lil J so excited to see me. And my dearest, super energized aunt, Aunt Sugar who came armed with a video camera to capture every moment of the day.

When I stood up to sing the uni song, I actually felt quite sad. I couldn’t bring myself to sing the last verse lest the tears welled in my eyes trickle down my face. I looked upon the choir group and smiled. Here are a bunch of juniors, singing their heart out and wearing the uniform I fondly remember. I was in the first choir group to officiate the white blouses, black skirts and ribbons.

I have witnessed 3 convocation ceremonies, seeing my seniors walk up with pride and such joy on their faces. But being the one going up on stage is worlds apart from seeing everything at the stands. The six seconds of fame, receiving my scroll from Tun Mahathir were defining moments of my life. Every step I took brought me to another milestone in my life, I’m officially a graduate.

The day was filled with mixed emotions. I’m really proud to have made it, to reach the end of the road. All the studying (and copying also, must give credit lah), staying up till the wee hours of the morning completing our thesis, projects, endless reports ect. was truly worth all the blood, sweat and tears. Getting to convocation had been a most interesting journey where an 18 year old girl grew up to be a mature adult just stepping into the corporate world. I really grew up, made loads of friends I will keep for life, a solid foundation for work and am stronger, wiser, better.

Here are some memories of the special 24^th August 2008.

The Work Force

It’s my second day of work and there’s really little going on for me to talk about. I’m in a group of 5 people with me as the only girl. I have a Boss, his boss whom I call the Big Boss is a strict-looking lady but since I’m not reporting to her, I hope I don’t have to bee worried too much. And then there is the Big Boss’s boss I call the Biggest Boss. I have yet to meet the last two individuals. Those with the title Big in front are very busy mah.

It is also an adjustment period from student life to a working adult. It sometimes slip my mind that I’m not an intern anymore like my previous working experience. This time I will be taking on more and heavier responsibilities and be accountable for a wider range of things.

Have you tried making friends with people in their 40’s and 50’s who enjoy talking about the families and kids? Trust me, I don’t relate beyond a certain extent.

I need to think of a nick name for my company and my group. To make things clearer, there are 6 groups that makes up my department so yeah. Any ideas?

A Place to Call Home

I know this post is long overdue but here it is.

Looking for a place to call my new home was an adventure. I did stay in KL while I was doing my internship, however because I didn’t have the luxury of time and money, I settled very quickly for an old flat 15 minutes walk from the station. It was quaint to add character to its brown walls, parquet floor and aging plumbing and wiring.

That place where I stayed for 8 months was never home. It didn’t feel like home, I had no sense of belonging or want in that space I shared with 2 classmates, a girl from Vietnam and another from Mozambique. For me, that place provided me shelter from the sun and rain and bed to sleep on but still, it lacked that attachment we all have to home.

Therefore, this time around, I wanted a place with an element of home to it. Of course, no place can replace my home, the place I grew up in, had all my treasured memories and where old friends are always at the corner.

But I was looking for that magic factor, one that beams at you the instant you step into the house / condo/ hut or whatever it is people live in. It has to feel right, like I’m welcomed there, cosy and the warmth of the place exudes from the very walls of the rooms.

Thus began my house hunt.

I decided to go for 2 locations, Location A which is pretty near my soon to be workplace. And Location B which is further but where I have most of my friends living there.

The search began on Friday and I viewed 3 places, with one possibility. On Saturday morning, I saw another 2 more in Location A, and one completely stood out like a knight in shining armor reaching out to me saying “Pick me to call your new home”. It had all the right elements, the price was right, the owner very pleasant and as a bonus, it comes with a swimming pool! The major downside, I’ll be all alone here coz none of my friends live anywhere nearby. So I decided to continue my search before making my final decision.

Friday Evening: Went over to Location B via LRT and I had no luck with places. As I was about to leave, I bumped into an ex-uni mate at the station. She heard my story and wanted to help me out. So she got her car over and brought me around the whole area, visiting several 7-Elevens to get contact numbers and showing me places suitable for rent.

I was really touched because here is a girl I barely know, we’ve only met say 5 times (since we’re not classmates and uni is a HUGE place), and she still went all the way out to help me, a person who is practically a stranger to her to look for a place to stay. I consider myself exceptionally blessed to have bumped into such a kind person. You know the saying; a friend in need is a friend indeed. She wears that badge proudly.

The next day, I met up with a senior from Uni who also helped me took for a place to stay in Location B. we went to countless places, circling and searching but I couldn’t find one. So I figured I would stay in Location A at the place I really liked. On my way back, my friend called me to say a housemate is moving out and I can take over the room.

I was ecstatic! Coz I’ve been to my friends place and it definitely feels like home. And the room, it’s much bigger, more comfortable and guess what, they cost the same. So yeah, I got everything I wanted in my new home and more, I have friends nearby to boot.

Blessed is quite the understatement to all that have taken place recently and for that I’m exceptionally grateful. I have a decent job in the location I’ve always wanted and now I’ve got a fantastic small lil place to call my own. I have friends who care and go the extra mile to assist me. Fellow bloggers and acquaintances also chipped in ideas and gave some very useful tips and guides. There were some random strangers who spotted a lost girl looking right and left, and pointed me to the right directions.

To every single one whose path I crossed in my journey for a place to call home, I thank you very very much. Words cannot express my gratitude of you helping a small town girl in a giant metropolitan city.

I am truly blessed. For that, I thank You.

Rumah Baru

I do have quite a bit to write bout my adventures in looking for a place to stay and the amazing friends who helped me out so much plus very kind strangers also making my search smoother. However, i'm pretty tired and the Olympics is robbing me of my attention for now.

But to cut it short, i found a decent place to stay and I'm really happy. It was bugging me for the last week about getting a place and i'm so glad i got a place i like, meets all criteria and i'll be with close friends. What more can i ask for?

*Happy**Happy**Happy*

Clinic Trauma-Rama

I could barely open my eyes this morning. After two months of being on holiday, getting up early is no longer my forte although I believe 8.30am can still be considered dawn to many people. So after endless eye rubbing, yawning and non-breakfast morning (had to fast since 10pm last night, oh how I miss my late night snacks) I drove a good 40 minutes to the company panel clinic for my medical check up.

When I stepped into the clinic, all my sleepiness vanished in an instant. I was appalled at the condition of the clinic. It is so freaking old, I was worried the roof was going to collapse on me. The walls were various shades of yellow and brown with most of the wall paper decaying. The wooden doors leading to the doctor’s office were partially eaten by termites. The air was stiff and musty and stank of the horrible hospital-liked-antiseptics. The corners of the clinic had at least 10 years worth of dust positioned beautifully right next to the registration counter.

A healthy person like me felt sick at once. I repeat, I came in healthy; I went out not-so-healthy.

How can someone call this place a clinic?! It is absolutely disgusting and shocking that the reputable organisation which gave me a job could send me for a medical check-up in a place not fit for living masked as a clinic. The hushed whispers and incessant mutterings under my breath between my sister and I were clear indications of my disbelief to the lady who sat next to me.

I am still horrified at the conditions of the clinic. I have visited a number of clinics over the years and while some may be old, they are impeccably clean and neat. Here, even the seats were broken and the cushion covers tattered with I think a gazillion trillion hideous gnawing germs lurking at ever atomic particle that constitutes the place. Eeeiiii…. i still have goose bumps just thinking of the place.

So there was no surprise when the doctor told me he couldn’t detect a reading of my blood pressure, there wasn’t even a pulse! Hello, if I had no pulse, takkan I’m a dead person talking to him right? Only on the 4^th attempt a reading could be taken.

The blood test? Another hilarious story. Here I am all prepared for my blood test hoping I don’t faint and the doctor couldn’t draw enough blood. I saw the vial filled halfway and then suddenly there was no more blood flowing so he pierced deeper (oooucch!) and there was a lil more blood and again he went deeper. Next time choose a bigger vein la. Those 10 minutes were the longest blood drawing session I ever had. Oh, my fear of fainting? Didn’t happen. I think I was just in a hurry to get out of that place.

Ooh, that’s not all. I couldn’t conduct my X-Ray, lung capacity test and audio test because they don’t have such facilities so I was referred to another clinic in town, another 40 minutes drive from this clinic. So, if they don’t have all these facilities, how did they become a panel clinic? Shouldn’t all tests be conducted in one location instead of transferring the patients, and so far away too I might add. Thank heavens the second clinic was wayyyyyyyyy better.

If this is an indication of my future working conditions in the organisation, I’m afraid of what to expect. The brew of dissatisfaction, repulsion, astonishment and fear is not working so well in my stomach. Or it could be that darn clinic.

Things to do

The thing about getting a job is that there are so many forms to be filled. My offer letter came with a thick wad of forms for all sorts of things like EPF, medical check-up, letter of agreement etc. It brings back memories of those days when I filled up all these forms for my sponsorship. While they are pretty easy to fill up, a lot of supporting documents are needed. And here I thought my days of making copies for my certificates and letters are over. On top of that, I'll be going back to school to get the documents certified as true original copies. I kinda pity the teacher who would be doing the certification coz his or her hand will be tired from the entire signature signing once I’m done.

Speaking of medical check-ups, it involves a blood test. Now I’m not exactly jumping up and down about this. I don’t have a fear of needles but I faint each time I draw blood and it’s a really scary feeling. I first discovered this in school when I was undergoing the Hepatitis B vaccination. Prior to that, the nurse has to take a blood sample to see if I already have the antibodies. As usual, boys were being whims (ok la, I was just in a hurry to not miss Bio class), so I was the first one. Needle in, needle out and voila, I was back in Bio Lab.

But about 10 minutes later, I started sweating profusely, I couldn’t hear a thing, the world was spinning like a never ending gasing ride and eventually everything started turning hazy white. Luckily my friend caught me right before I collapsed. This happened again when I underwent my medical check-up for uni. This time around, I was better prepared. I got my friends to stand by just in case and I made sure I sat down. True enough, I went all weak-limb about 10 minutes after the blood test. So the girl who stood before me who cried while blood was drawn gripping my hand tight till my hand turned white ended up taking care of me. The world works in strange ways sometimes.

Mum was really worried the first time around. She insisted I went to the doctor for a check-up to rule out anemia. The doctor had a good laugh at my story because apparently this situation is more prominent with the males. And that I had nothing to worry about. It happens because the mind takes more time to digest the fact that body has undergone a physical change and due to the delay, it reacts as such. So while I mentally am not afraid and am physically fine, I most likely would still pengsan. Lol.

This time around, I’m bringing Sis S along for my medical check-up. Helluva no way I wanna drive the 40 minute drive home after the blood drawing trauma.

I've Got A Job!

Yes, I'm happy to say that I will no longer be a Professional Slacker slash bummer slash unemployed because I have a job now. Ok, well at least on paper I do. I received my offer letter earlier this afternoon and much to everyone's relief (I wasn't holding my breath, had to be prepared for anything), I am posted to KL! Yippee!!!

I'll be working in the Twin Towers to boot. Woo Hoo!! I'm so very thankful that I did not get thrown into somewhere far far away. I had 5 years in a tiny town for my uni years, seriously, I could do with a metropolitan city for a change. Melaka does not count as a city, when I'm optimistic, Melaka is a town.

Speaking of which, I am now looking for a place to stay in KL. Any suggestions? A criterion is it must be located anywhere along the Kelana Jaya LRT Line as I don't own a car and would rely on public transportation to work. So Congratulations to me *beaming perasan-ly*

A City Called Cat

I was in Kuching not too long ago for the Rainforest World Music Festival or fondly refered to as RWMF. You can read about my adventures *here*, *here* and *here*. During my 5 day stint in Cat City, I took loads of pictures of the beautiful city. The sights of Kuching is nothing like the ones I've seen before. While Melaka do boasts a host of historical buildings, Kuching does a pretty good job at that too but with a different taste in archicture. So armed with a camera with me trying to absorb the colours, textures and structures, here's Kuching through my eyes or lenses in this case.

The Hainanese Building along Carpenter Street

The new government complex to be completed by the end of the year

Fort Margaritha (i think). Taken during the River Cruise.

Forts to protect Kuching from invasion

You pay RM0.40 to cross the river with these boats

Brooke Dockyard. When Bee and myself saw Brooke Dockyard, we were so excited because during my internship, the company had a large project with Brooke Dockyard where the fabrication of a now running platform took place. But we were so surprised at the state and condition of the building. No way my company was going to let a place like Brooke Dockyard which looked like it was falling into pieces to handle such an important task. We later learnt that they have relocated and this was a very very very very old site. Phew....

We see children playing and taking baths here

The state Mosque. I love the picture because the granduer of the building is futher accuented with the dark clouds and water

Kuching Hilton

A really expensive service apartment which i forgot its name. Superman was not impressed with the way it was designed.

Khatulistiwa Cafe

Buddha on the pillar of a Chinese Temple

Look at the intricate sculpture

The altar

A completely random picture. Look at the number of summonses piling on up the car windscreen!

X-Files: I Want To Believe

I caught the movie on Friday night wondering how much I would like the movie. I watched X-Files for years as a child, glued to the TV, begging my mum to extend my bedtime for that one Sunday a week from 9.30-10.30pm on TV2. I have no idea how come I still remember those details except that that show was pretty big back then. So off I marched to the cinema to see what will take place and how much has changed after 6 years since the show went off air.

The movie picked up from where the show ended. Dr Dana Scully and Fox Mulder no longer work for the FBI. One day, Scully was approached by an FBI agent looking for Mulder to get his help in an investigation of a missing FBI agent. Mulder jumps right in with help from a physic who sees the missing person in his visions.

Now let’s see what the movie has:
Scully and Mulder – check
Scully’s red hair – check
Mulder eating his sunflower seeds – check
Lots of dark and night scenes – check

What the movie is missing:
A good story line
Extra terrestrial phenomenon
Suspense, thriller and that *magic* factor

When the physic first made an appearance, I thought that it was part of a bigger picture as I waited for something with more meat to show up. The whole idea behind X-Files was to investigate strange and unexplainable incidents, creepy creatures, aliens, bizarre underground experiments etc. However, this movie has none of those pull factors like the show had.

In fact, the movie has a number of loose ends which defeats the fact that the movie was suppose to conclude the mystery of X-Files. The lack of paranormal activities unearthed was quite disappointing. Not once did I grip my seat, heart pumped so hard and mind raced over what is going to happen next. There was just no anticipation or tension build up to the story line, so much so, I actually missed the climax if it had one.

Verdict: I would give the movie a miss. I really wanted to believe the movie was going to be brilliant with a huge impact the way it had me as a child.

So you know what I did on Saturday night? I watched The Dark Knight again!! *yippee*

I Got A Nose Job

And you reading this right now have absolutely no right to judge me. Hah. I got the plastic surgery done simply because I can do it, I felt like it and well, I hated my original nose of course.

Well, I wanted to write about this earlier but I was in quite a lot of pain and my face really swelled up so I literally cooped myself up at home. But the bandages have been removed, the swell has completely gone and now I feel *much* better, I can write what happened.

I have always never quite liked how my nose looks like. There is a slight bump on it and that bump seem to be magnified over the years as I grew more and more conscious of it. I personally felt the bump was a scar to my confidence. I have always find it hard to believe people when they tell me I look just fine and that I should be thankful that I’m still perfect in every other way, I have all my limbs perfection functional, the mental capacity of a person my age, independence, a good education. But when put on a weighing scale, the bump weighs a tonne in the con over all my pros.

If you believed a word of the above, you have been conned! Oh, but the bump on my nose is completely true. Kiss of Cupid and not swear to die.

I did not have a nose job! Siow ah.

Instead, I had a surgery to remove a wisdom tooth. I wish I had a picture of my X-Ray to show you the angle and position of my tooth. It was so awkwardly positioned because of the lack of space and the tooth had to force its way up to grow.

See the crooked wisdom tooth in the pic? Now imagine my teeth was lying 90 degrees flat and part of tooth peeking through the gums!

The dentist noted this problem about a year ago but I was really not up to the idea of a surgery. Like come on, it’s a tooth for crying out loud! And since I didn’t feel any pain, I basically left it alone somehow hoping the problem would vanish. But I’m too smart to know that it wouldn’t but the thought of going under the knife is scary. As a teenager, I endured 2 years of torturing braces treatment followed by a year of wearing retainers that made me talk funny and now this??! Sigh

Well, the dentist used reverse psychology to scare me into the surgery which I’m afraid didn’t work because I knew exactly what was he doing. These were factual no doubt but I swept them to the darkest, furthest corner of my mind so that I will not be affected by it.

a) When you are stressed especially during exams, naturally your immune system will be more vulnerable. And it is in times like these you will experience agonising pain but by then it will be too late. Swelling is also common and mere painkiller will not do the trick.

b) If I stubbornly leave the bad wisdom tooth to naughtily have its way of things, it will pressure and move the adjacent teeth. The long term effects is that I will start to lose my teeth 10 years before my peers. *Eekss*

So while I’m home, I told myself, let’s solve this teething problem and voila, I went for my surgery. Incisions had to be made on my cheek flesh and there was a huge risk on this procedure because there is a muscle running right through it. If not properly done and the muscle gets cut, I will lose all sensation on my right side and will no longer be able to fully control my mouth movement and speech. Phew…. So I gulped down my fear of all these and put in faith in my dearest dentist hoping for the best.

I was put under local anaesthesia but the dentist insisted I closed my eyes so I cant tell you what when on except that there were weird sounds of the suction and a drill – yes a drill to break my apparently very monstrous wisdom tooth into smaller pieces to remove it more easily.

The stitches have been removed and the wound is recovering very well. I had a day of porridge and when the anaesthesia wore out, the pain was !@#%^& painful. Oh, guess what I was told, I may have to undergo the same surgery for the wisdom tooth on my left. Ggrrr….

Let me ask you this, I’ve lost both my wisdom teeth on my right side (top and lower jaw each) and will be removing the two on my left side. Does that mean I will be less wise?