The Feeling

The day started out really well for Sophie. She woke up bright and optimistic that the day will end well. And then somewhere in the evening, something changed. That feeling came back again, it is back again after 2 weeks. The same feeling that has been hitting her more than usual lately. No matter what she does, it does not want to make a clean break with her. Suppressing it is one thing, but each time it resurfaces, it gets harder to ignore.

Watching episode 505 of One Tree Hill last night, Coach Durham said “There is more to life than just basketball. And make sure you do not lose sight of those important things”. The victorious feeling of winning championships cannot compare to the day he met Camellia, his late wife whom he still constantly thinks of.

Today, Sophie felt a tinge, no, more of a pinch of that today. A lot of things have been going on in her life, work; uni, friends and so many things have also changed. She feels very viscous, the flow of things have brought her a flood of new experiences. That is when the feelings will hit her smack in her face.

To type out an sms every morning when she wakes up, a good nite msg before she sleeps, the long conversations of talking about everything, anything or nothing, to just pick up the phone to go crazy like “My presentation went really awesome baby, we totally rocked it”, or when days suck and she has that one person to support, comfort and cheer for her.

That person is missing.

That feeling is loneliness.

Sophie has got loads of friends, but it is not the same as the special someone. No matter how much she tells her best friends everything, the feedback she longs for is of the missing person.

The last couple of weeks have been hectic with so much of work to do and the finale was today. Yet, all she could think of was she doesn’t have someone to share it with. Coming back from her presentation, she didn’t have someone to dish out the minute-by-minute details on how it went.

Sophie misses the idea of excitedly sms-ing or calling someone immediately, speaking at the speed of light, eagerly giving out the breakdown of the event at hand, be it happy or sad. And knowing that no matter how things turned out, it is nice to just have someone to talk and listen to everyday, caring, sharing and loving them wholeheartedly. At the end of the day, success is sweet but is much sweeter when shared.

What is the point of having all the money and success in the world when you are alone, with wonderful friends but missing a vital ingredient that makes life more beautiful.

So after weeks of hard work and doing a wonderful job, Sophie is celebrating. Not by relaxing and watching a movie as intended, but by snuggling in her blanket on the cold rainy day with a hard-to-putdown book of hers in bed yearning for company silently plastering a bright smile on her face every morning when the sun rises.