Losing Respect

I am very angry right now. I’m trying very hard to find the right words to describe exactly how I feel. Angry is stand-alone but that is not all that I feel right now. It is a mirage of feelings all boiling, mixing, twirling and swirling in my head.

You know how we are repeatedly told that smoking is bad for your health and you will one day possibly die of cancer and while you smoke, those around you have more adverse effects because of your one selfish habit….yadda yadda. I believe everyone knows the drill. Yet despite all that, people still smoke, the educated and wise know the consequences of their actions still do it consciously. Stupidity? Maybe. Lack of perseverance and self control? Maybe.

But that is not what I’m angry about. It is about life and the preciousness it holds. So I’m sorry but I find it very hard to forgive you when you drive recklessly like the roads belong to you or to possibly have a glimmer of hope that the winding roads we use to go to town is the Sepang Circuit. Wake up and open your eyes. This is Malaysia and we have speed limits.

You did this once before on a long journey home and despite my repeated pleas to ask you to slow down, all you were thinking of was to get home as quickly as you can. I totally understand the excitement of home, I feel it too. But I want to get home in ONE PIECE. Is that too much to ask? So what if you save 5 miserly minutes to arrive faster at the cost of your life? Is it worth it at the end of the day?

And I believe at home and in driving school, we learn what is called responsible driving. As for driving with 3 other passengers, I think you owe it to them to get them to their destination safely. You swerve from right to left, overtaking everyone in front of you and ignoring double lines and blind spots. Now in my vocabulary, that is called stupidity. Yes, we both enjoy playing Daytona and having a fun time trying to out-race each other. But real life my dear is not a game of Daytona, you do not drive like a maniac.

I’ve seen accidents and there are times where I don’t have it in me to sympathize with the victim especially when he is the cause of the accident. How can I feel pity for you when it is of your own wrong doing? I’m really glad you have not met an accident and I pray you won’t get into one. BUT if you do, my sympathy will be waiting at the door when I visit you at the hospital. Because you would deserve it with the crazy way you handle a car. The actions of you maneuvering the steering wheel and with such speed is not what I call driving, it is insanity. For crying out loud, you drive a Malaysian made car and correct me if I’m wrong, but no way can a Malaysian made car come close to a Ferrari.

I’m really curious as to what would you tell our parents should we meet an accident? How could you face them? Because to you we are just passengers in your car. However, that is not all who we are. I am a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a niece, a friend and if I die, you take away my possible roles of being a lover, wife, mother, grandmother, aunt.

So today, after enduring your headache inducing, stomach wrenching maniac “driving” experience, I have lost all my respect for you. Again. The first time it happened, it took me a very long time to let it go. But today, I’m afraid not because you do not seem to understand the sanctity and preciousness of this one life we have on earth. Today, I am angry, upset, disappointed because I lost respect for a friend.