Monday, March 31, 2008
#26: Black lips, ewww
#27: Botak, next
#28: Fly hair
#29: Hot, Hot, Hot. I love the 5 o’clock shadow (Gets my vote)
#30: Nice eyes, they’re blue
#37: Like the hair and the no so clean shaven look (Gets my vote)
#38: Hair like Michael Jackson, eyes like Oprah Winfrey. Hhmmm
#39: He looks a lil like a friend from high school
#40: Too thin for my liking
#41: Damn control macho looking. Quite popular among my friends. I’m guessing he’ll be a top contender
#46: The ever famous blogger, Kenny Sia. He looks bulky. Don’t like the shirt. I’m not surprised if he picked this one out himself.
#49: Looks Chinese with a malay name
#50: Looks Malay with a Chinese name. Hence the initial confusion with #49. Nice outfit.
I’ll post up pics from the Cleo magazine tomorrow, lest you cheapskates decide to not buy the mag if I put them up too soon.
Logan (Bachelor #27) has a friend who wrote a post on him. You can read it here.
Prem (Bachelor #11) who’s a total hottie has a Facebook Group. You can check it here.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Who ever said that shopping is not therapeutic needs a *slap*
Ah Kie, Ah Sha and I went for a shopping trip to Ipoh today and we really shopped. *Happy Happy Happy* It is so so nice to come back feeling completely satisfied that we spent a great day buying things we like at discounted rates. It has been a very long time since I last shopped due to my lack of money so today I felt on cloud nine.
After weeks of sheer hard work and very-little-sleep-nights, shopping is the best way to release all the tension. Imagine going around, seeing something you like, trying them out and paying less than the full rate for it. Its uber fun, you exercise along the way whilst walking and you learn budgeting so as to not go broke within days of getting the scholarship allowances.
The endorphins simply fill me in and every time I breathe, I heave a sigh of utter happiness and joy. I still have that smile stuck on my face. The really awesome part about today is the fact that I planned to shop and did end up buying stuff. There have been occasions where planning for a shopping trip some how jinx’s the trip because I’ll end up with nothing. This could be because I didn’t see anything I fancy, don’t have my size, don’t have the colour i want, the price is ridiculously overboard.
I feel very energized after my version of therapy. So, I’ll pick up the pieces of my work completely recharged from buying a pair of super nice earrings, 2 shorts, 3 tops and yummylicious food in Ipoh. Yay!
Friday, March 28, 2008
1 Which feature do you zoom in on when you meet a guy for the first time?
2. Who is your role model?
Almost every member of my family
3. What's the healthiest thing you would eat among sushi, salad and sandwich?
4. Which movie you can watch again and again?
Kal Ho Naa Ho. I think I watched it close to 20 times already.
5. Three gadgets that you can't live without?
HP and PC only
6. What is your most annoying habit?
I feel extremely uncomfortable when it is too quiet. So I fill the silence by talking, a lot.
7. What's one thing you're glad you've outgrown?
8. I get nervous when...
I need to address a crowd spontaneously
9. My biggest fear is...
10. The best thing I've done for myself is...
Gotten a new hairstyle
11. Pass this meme to 5 people.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
#1 Eyebrows look weird, can’t live without blotters, eeww
#2 So the cina
#3 Nice smile, I wonder if the hair smells
#4 Macho man with the tattoos
#5 Nice smile
#6 First I thought he looked good especially with the hair, the mystery man aura oozing out. Until I read this:
Q: A women makes me nervous when…
A: Honestly, I don’t mean to be a “man” by saying this, but a woman never makes me nervous. In fact it’s always the other way around.
OMG, how narcissistic!! So no, you don’t get my vote with the terrible respond like that.
#7 He’s got the “lucky” chin. Nice outfit
#8 Dimples usually melt my heart but not this guy. He looks too pale, like a ghost. Wont be surprised if doesn’t go out much under the sun.
#9 The boy next door, very cute. The kind you can bring home to your parents. (Gets my vote)
#10 Sharp features, nice gootie.
#11 Sizzling Hottie Hot Hot! He’s really tall, macho with a fantastic body to boot, friendly, charming with a million dollar smile (which is concealed here). Loves paintball to bits. You can check his profile here.
Q: My life mission is to …
A: Produce good looking children.
A welcomed change from the usual responses; sports car, career, nice house, wealth etc. (Gets my vote)
#14 Ok la
#15 Really really tall, in camp we called him the twin towers (his best friend is just as tall and of the same size). Nice smile, friendly, has the appearance of macho man but he’s very nice to talk to and befriend, a lil blur at times, witty. (Gets my vote)
#16 Looks like a friend of a friend’s brother
#17 Cute, awesome smile
#18 He looks mixed, almost Cambodian / Indonesian. Acts in Kami (I’ve not watched the show though)
#19 Needs to tweeze his eyebrows!
#20 Mata sepet
#21 Nice hair, like the smile, looks quite laidback. His friend had a post on him. you can read it here.
#22 I Love Love Love his hair!! I’m such a sucker for guys with curls and his hair is his winning crown. Nice smile, good features, pleasant looking (Gets my vote)
#24 Looks like someone from a band, not the lead singer but a band member. I just can’t pin point which band and who exactly. *Cracking head*Geram*
#25 Looks like he smokes A LOT. His lips are black.
Edit: I wrote in detail telling about this story which vanished in the midst of being posted. So here's the condensed version. My ATM card is nada. Made a new card. Money came in. Not so broke anymore. Yay.
Finally after weeks of daily showers, this evening is blessed with blue skies and white clouds. I see lots of students taking advantage of the weather, all geared up in sports attire headed for the field and courts :)
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
This will be updated as soon as i get my hands on more information.
The Cleo Most Eligible Bachelor Bash details are as follow:
Venue: Zouk KL
Date: 25 April 2008
For more info here are some websites you can visit:
KLue : http://www.klue.com.my/ViewEventDetails.aspx?EventID=16517
Cleo Singapore 50 Most Eligible Bachelor Quiz: http://www.onezine.com/online/acp/cleo/meb/mebfb.swf
Cleo's Most Eligible Bachelor eMagazine Widget: http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/MEB
A quirk sets us apart from others because not everyone does things the same way we do. Quirks don’t make you weird; they’re just a habit we have. It could be subconscious or something we have done in a certain way for so long it has become a norm, doing it any other way isn’t just quite right. However, an individual who is filled entirely with quirkiness and fixated with doing things his/her own way may be obsessive compulsive, like Monk.
I’ve got some quirks of my own. I arrange my stationary in my pencil box in one direction, the tips of my pens and pencils face west where the zip opens. It is also in layers depending on frequency of use. First is the stapler --> mechanical pencil lead refillers --> highlighters --> coloured pens --> liquid paper --> pens and my mechanical pencil. The ruler is tucked at the wall on the pencil case and the eraser is placed at the left hand corner for easier reach. So if anyone were to borrow my things and conveniently place them back, I would know immediately. These days, my stationary are no longer arranged in layers, too many precious minutes is spent on something unproductive like that. They however do remain in the same direction.
I love labeling my stuff. Every time I get something new, the first thing I do is to write my name on it, especially note pads, books and even the print-outs of my lecture notes. I label my files, not with my name but according to subject. I feel its gives a personal touch and my items a sense of belonging.
When I’m studying and get tired of reading, I scribble my home address together with my phone number and email address, as if I’m giving away my contact details to someone. Exams usually make me think of home more and writing down my home address brings a tiny sense of comfort that the exams will be over and ill be home in no time.
In times I feel really stressed out and overwhelmed with the amount of things to do, not knowing where to start, I play dress-up. It’s really fun and a great stress reliever, pretty much the same way I feel when I go on a fruitful shopping trip (meaning, I end up with something). I go through “costume” changes, just trying out all my clothes, mixing and matching them. I can try 10 different tops with the same skirt or pants and each time I evaluate the look I get. I do this until I feel satisfied, when stress is not niggling at the back of my mind anymore. There was this one time a few years back, I was mega stressed out. I tried out a really nice outfit for dinner, complete with matching earrings and accessories, put on my shoes and took out my bag and then I went back to studying without changing. My roommate walked in completely shocked at my state; even thinking she missed out on a notice of a dinner that very day. I dressed up at 2 in the afternoon some more.
Ah Kie arranges his clothes according to categories: Formal shirts, pants, jeans, long sleeve shirts, shirts and t-shirts. Rukawa names all her soft toys the same way you name a pet to make up for her lack of pets. Superman will only park his car at a proper parking lot or car park. His car is way too precious to be put at a curb, he does not even park illegally when everyone else even if it is the most convenient.. He parks his car as it should be, in an allocated lot no matter how far it is from his destination, no matter how long it takes to get a parking space and no matter how expensive it costs to park, he would do it. Better save than sorry he says.
Does a quirk says anything about you? I think so. I’m not sure what does every habit represents but I know it represents who we are, a little touch, a feel, a note of presence to indicate, yes it is me.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Mid morning I felt like shopping. But that was put to a screeching halt when the ATM machine ate my card. You can read about it here.
These past few days, I have been having this unexplainable itch to eat tit bits. I’m not particularly hungry, it’s just the itch to munch on something, to crunch and chew. I usually pacify myself with eating raisin. I keep a 500g Sun Maid Natural California Raisins for times like these. However, since I’ve been eating so much of this, the raisins just feel sour in my mouth, like “Oh no, raisins again?”
And my box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates is MISSING!!! Last night on top of the absolute need to munch on something, I had this tremendous craving for chocolates. And imagine the frustration I felt when I can’t find them. I find it rather peculiar how could the box simply vanish. I checked under every nook, corner and cranny of every possible place the box could be. I checked, rechecked and triple checked. I also looked at places food should not be at, my wardrobe, in my book shelf, my junk drawer, the dusty corner at the furthermost end of my desk, my undergarments section, everywhere. And I know with absolute clarity that I did not put them in the house fridge for fear of unwanted hands rummaging through my precious chocolates and when I looked there through the horrid junk of what is called food in there, alas my chocolates is no where in sight. Not that I mind people having one or two, but please at least have the courtesy to ask. I shall not go into the long story of how good stuff goes missing in the fridge. I brought the box of chocolates back from home after my mid-sem break and I remember putting them on the food shelve together with my milk cartons. Everything else looks in place, undisturbed and yet my chocolates are missing. At this point of time, I am willing to believe that the box of oh-so-yummylicious-chocolates grew legs and walked out on me.
So today, my temptation to eat was so overwhelming, I can’t sit and write a word more on my report (which by the way is driving me crazy), I took a short walk to Kopetro, the uni’s convenience store to see what can I get my hands on. I finally settled for the Jacob’s Crak’s cream onion flavour and a small packet of Cadbury’s Hazel Nut coated with Dairy Milk Chocolate. Haih… what compensation. The Crak’s were pretty good, it makes a close second to all the keropok I buy from the Tronoh pasar malam, a little salty, bite size, crispy and crunchy.
The chocolates… sigh…. Cadbury’s. What else can I say? They pale in comparison to Ferrero Rocher and mind you, I wouldn’t even consider Ferrero Rocher top notch chocolate, they’re just nice chocolates with their gold wrappings, made for the commercial market who believes they are actually eating really good chocolates. Since I don’t eat chocolates very often, I only get really good chocolates, the best kind, dark rich imported chocolates. Cadbury’s is nowhere near the league of fine chocolates.
But today, I learnt to be grateful. Because here I am eating Cadbury’s while typing this post out and actually enjoying the chocolates. Chocolates are chocolates no matter what brand stamp they have on, the fancy packaging they come in or the country they are manufactured at. My craving’s have been somewhat satisfied, my endorphins multiplied; my taste buds happy and for that I’m thankful.
(Hint: If any kind soul would like to buy me chocolates, I’ll settle for Ferrero Rocher without a fuss. You could also get me the Belgian Chocolates shaped into seashells and sea creatures, these are my ultimate favourite. The Rither Sport ones are yummy so are Hersheys. Those are the only ones I can remember for now; I’ve tried and eaten so many awesome ones to be able to remember all of them. The biggest clue is that I love love love dark chocolates. Milk chocolates are for babies :p)
My roomie did not sleep at all last night! I am amazed, shocked, surprised and in total disbelieve that someone can just not feel sleepy therefore did not sleep. Throughout the night, I woke up at several intervals to peek at the time and she was just there sitting in front of her computer working on her report. When morning came, she still looks as fresh as a daisy, as if not sleeping is the most perfectly normal thing in the world. She took a nap and I thought she’ll probably crash till tomorrow morning. So the shocker came when she woke up about 2 hours later feeling fine (read: not sleepy, not tired). Wow. Maybe she’s a robot in disguise. I need to keep a closer inspection on this supposed creature co-habiting with me. Ill give periodic reports as observations are made. Stay tuned~
So last night after staying up to watch 27 Dresses, I drew the curtains shut to block out all possible light from entering my room and when to bed.
After what felt like a few hours, something in me jolt and I groaned to myself. I sleep every day for all this years to be able to accurately estimate the number of hours of sleep I have gotten and what time it is roughly.
And I know that I have slept for 7 hours.
I also know that it is roughly 8am.
I peeked at my watch and I was disappointed to find out I am right. Damn!
How do I know?
I have been getting between 5 to 7 hours for the last month every single day and I am usually up latest by 8am. So I have indirectly developed a subconscious habit. My internal clock is functioning in automatic mode these days, by 8am my brain snaps out of hibernation and revs into full gear.
So there I go, despite wanting to sleep in today, like clockwork, I am up. I refused to surrender so I stubbornly stayed in bed for a bit more. But the terrible urge to pee was too much and at the risk of wetting my bed, I rushed to answer the call of nature. That blew it! After that, it is pointless staying in bed when I am fully aware of everything.
It is funny how when I wake up each morning, I wish I have more hours in bed. And on the occasion I can, I can’t sleep. Sigh…
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Here I was there in the bank to check my account balance, really hoping my scholarship money is in after months of waiting. So I waited patiently for my turn and when I inserted my card in, it said Device Failure. My head went “Ooooh oooo”. Repeated attempts was to no avail so I switched to the next machine and no, that was not how I lost my card.
I inserted my card and found out my bank absolutely-shrinking-almost-obsolete balance (when the hell is the money going to come!!!? I need to shop people!) and Poofff, there was a flicker and no electricity. The power outage lasted a few seconds and the systems were up soon enough. Midway through the loading process, Poofff, another flicker.
I thought, hey, what could possibly happen? I mean, this is a bank with super cekap security systems and backup systems and what-ever systems that keeps in the place running efficiently. The second time around, the machines were fully back and running and guess what…
That’s right, my card which was in when I was checking my balance got freaking swallowed by the freaking ATM machine!!! The machine made a meal out of my poor card.
Ah Kie was going to help me activate my online account mentioned that I can’t do much at that point of time. I’ll just need to check with the bank and claim my card back on Monday.
To play safe, I called the Enquiry Center and the lady assured me of the same thing. My card would not be ejected out anytime between today and Monday. The only way to get the card out is to manually open up the machine so its there, safe and sound. That did bring a little comfort to me. I mean, as much as the future of my bank balance looks hopelessly bleak, I’d still like to have some money than nothing at all.
So, there goes my craving to shop. I am officially broke.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
And this is the 20th post on the 20th of March.
Happy happy happy
Now need to direct more traffic here.
Words can tell what hearts divine
This most romantic time of year:
I'll be yours if you'll be mine
Till golden moon meets midnight drear.
For words can tell what hearts divine
When air's perfume and water's wine,
And cupids hover at one's ear:
And do we feelings dare define
In phrases adamant and clear?
For words can tell what hearts divine,
And souls can step across a line
On days when angels wait to cheer:
Ah, love! Let love this one day shine
On fancies lush and passions sheer!
For words can tell what hearts divine.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The day started out really well for Sophie. She woke up bright and optimistic that the day will end well. And then somewhere in the evening, something changed. That feeling came back again, it is back again after 2 weeks. The same feeling that has been hitting her more than usual lately. No matter what she does, it does not want to make a clean break with her. Suppressing it is one thing, but each time it resurfaces, it gets harder to ignore.
Watching episode 505 of One Tree Hill last night, Coach Durham said “There is more to life than just basketball. And make sure you do not lose sight of those important things”. The victorious feeling of winning championships cannot compare to the day he met Camellia, his late wife whom he still constantly thinks of.
Today, Sophie felt a tinge, no, more of a pinch of that today. A lot of things have been going on in her life, work; uni, friends and so many things have also changed. She feels very viscous, the flow of things have brought her a flood of new experiences. That is when the feelings will hit her smack in her face.
To type out an sms every morning when she wakes up, a good nite msg before she sleeps, the long conversations of talking about everything, anything or nothing, to just pick up the phone to go crazy like “My presentation went really awesome baby, we totally rocked it”, or when days suck and she has that one person to support, comfort and cheer for her.
That person is missing.
That feeling is loneliness.
Sophie has got loads of friends, but it is not the same as the special someone. No matter how much she tells her best friends everything, the feedback she longs for is of the missing person.
The last couple of weeks have been hectic with so much of work to do and the finale was today. Yet, all she could think of was she doesn’t have someone to share it with. Coming back from her presentation, she didn’t have someone to dish out the minute-by-minute details on how it went.
Sophie misses the idea of excitedly sms-ing or calling someone immediately, speaking at the speed of light, eagerly giving out the breakdown of the event at hand, be it happy or sad. And knowing that no matter how things turned out, it is nice to just have someone to talk and listen to everyday, caring, sharing and loving them wholeheartedly. At the end of the day, success is sweet but is much sweeter when shared.
What is the point of having all the money and success in the world when you are alone, with wonderful friends but missing a vital ingredient that makes life more beautiful.
So after weeks of hard work and doing a wonderful job, Sophie is celebrating. Not by relaxing and watching a movie as intended, but by snuggling in her blanket on the cold rainy day with a hard-to-putdown book of hers in bed yearning for company silently plastering a bright smile on her face every morning when the sun rises.
Sunburst Music Festival was awesome! I was there around 2.40 pm with Keropok and we bumped into a number of friends including some unexpected ones from uni. Security was tight, we had to go through 4 check points and I had to leave behind my mineral water bottle. I knew it wasn’t allowed but I can’t just not try my luck.
The first show I watched was Gerhana Ska Cinta and the sun was blazing, literally laughing in our faces telling us “Melt people, melt till you are no more. Hahahaha”. However, I came totally geared up for the weather. Clad in a cotton holter top, Capri pants, flat sandals, a cap borrowed from Keropok, sunnies and a thick coat of sunblock :). Keropok also brought a long a bright sunny yellow umbrella so we took shelter from the sweltering heat while watching Gerhana Ska Cinta.
Next was the episode of water “taking”. We spotted a tent, unsupervised filled to the brim with boxes of mineral water. So I cheered on as Keropok managed to get 2 bottles for us and 2 of our acquaintances.
Gigi had good showmanship, I liked it how the lead singer pronounced Incubus as In-ku-bus (pronounced in Malay), it was hilarious and became our running joke of the day. The weather decide to take a 360 degree turn and it started pouring cats and dogs right before Pop Shuvit took the stage. I ran to the nearest tent and stayed there till the rain was a mere drizzle. Die hard fans of Pop Shuvit bared the rain, umbrella or none. People were soaking wet and jumping like crazy. There was also a side performance, slightly more enterntainng that Pop Shuvit. The crew members of Joe Flizzow were also in the same tent as me and they were restless. So they had races under the rain and also sliding competitions into big puddles of water. They looked like they had the time of their lives! Keropok and I also placed bets on who would win which rounds. Talk about entertainment man.
I couldn’t miss Hujan, and the rain was sympathetic, it was drizzling by then so I got under the umbrella to the stage singing away to their songs. I couldn’t care less that most of the others around me were staring. And then it started to rain again, I was a little disappointed they didn’t play Pagi yang Gelap and just as I was leaving, they sang the song!!! So I stayed back, overjoyed they played all my 3 favourite songs – Ah Moi Cantek, Kuala Lumpur and Pagi yang Gelap. So yeah, I watched Hujan in the rain, literally.
Keropok’s brother and gang were also performing, they are Twilight Action Girl who plays at the Loft@Zouk every Friday night. And Keropok had no idea about it until we met the gang during Hujan’s performance. Or else we could have gotten free tickets. Oh well…
George Clinton and P-Funk was energy busting, people dancing and grooving to the catchy beat. I loved Raul Midon, his voice soulful, his lyrics spoke to me. His guitar skills are amazing. I especially love the song he wrote when he was dating his now wife. Pity my uni network don’t carry his songs.
By the time The Roots and Icognito performed, the crowd has swelled tremendously. John Legend was Sweat Man. He was not glistening but literally dripping in sweat, honestly I found it gross. A girl had a chance to dance with him on stage and even she couldn’t help but wipe off his sweat for him. By the time she left, her left thigh (which was against his) was wet, a sweat patch was clearly visible.
The highlight of the night was Incubus. They, however, did not perform according to schedule. Being the superstars they are, they decided to perform earlier, citing reasons that their fans wouldn’t wait till too late for them. WTF. And because of that, Estranged and Search were pushed back to make way for the whites. Seriously, I think loads of people were there mainly for Incubus, they would have stayed back no matter how late just to catch their show. The organizers gave in without a fight, not even a negotiation to get them to perform as scheduled. Got this scoop form V.
Now, why is this so important? Well, the idea of the festival was partly to support the local music scene. And if Estranged and Search were to perform after Incubus, the crowd would pretty small by then. Even the Anugerah Juara Lagu (AJL) chairperson did not support nor stand up for the local acts! To give the local bands center stage and exposure is so important and they took away that golden opportunity by letting Incubus perform first. Gosh….
The festival brought upon loads of catching up with friends I have not meet in years. I met Davina from our Introduction Weekend of Raleigh International Kuala Lumpur, after camp, we have not met up, and that was 5 years ago. I was so happy she could recognize me, I tapped her shoulder and was saying, “By any chance, are you ….” “OMG, OHKULALA IT IS YOU!!!” she squealed. Then there was Neha, whom I’ve not meet since 6 years ago. Also finally met V’s sister-in-law, have heard so much about her and we finally met face-to-face. Catching up with Superman was great, pity him, he took awhile to spot me coz of the massive crowd.
My back was totally aching from all the standing I was doing, after the fourth or fifth song of Incubus’ performance, I had to get a sit. So we chilled at the Tuborg station watching Incubus from the big screen. They had an encore of 3 songs! We left around 1.30am. I was hungry from all the excitement. The pizza we got from Pizza Hut was not wow, it was cold and expensive but that was expected. The satay was so much better, should have gotten that earlier. To pacify my aching tummy, we ate at Devi’s Corner in Bangsar before I headed back to my lovely bed.
I think the idea behind Sunburst was a great one. They could tweak it better by selling water at a cheaper price, it was RM3 per bottle and I found out these were actually sponsored. So technically, they are making 100% profits cutting our throats. The incident of big guns pushing their way around should not be repeated, what is the worse that can happen? Incubus doesn’t perform and the organizers can sue them, win-win-win for the organizers, local bands and the patrons.
The weekend was awesome. To counter the amazing weekend, I have loads going on this week. My FYP experiments were completed yesterday afternoon. The PDP pre-EDX and final presentations are due this afternoon and my interview is on Saturday. Jord Mela on Thursday and OM test on Friday. So yeah, I have my entire week packed out. Good luck to me.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Here we go:
1. Beer : Heineken
2. McDonalds: Fries
3. Relationships : Not so easy
4. Purple: hate the colour
5. Power Rangers: Red
6. Weed: smoke
7. Steroids: buffed bodies
8. Cartoons: lame
9. The President: of sheer laziness
10. Tupperware: primary school days
11. Florida: sun and beach
12. Santa Claus: Christmas presents
13. Halloween: pumpkin, treat or trick
14. Alice: in wonderland
15. Grammar: mrs chew
16: Myspace: nada
17. Clowns: circus
18. Marriage: one day
19. Paris: paris je tai’me
20. Pussy: cat dolls
21. Redheads : sexy
22. Blondes: bimbos
23. Pass the: ketchup
24. One night stand: thrilling
25. Donald Trump: does not wear a wig
26. Neverland: wanna stay there
27. dixie: chicks
28. Vanilla ice cream: with chocolate topping
29. Hooters: nothing better to do
30. High school musical : too many songs
31. Pajamas: nuffnang pyjama party
32. Woody: allen
33. Wet Socks: gross
35. Love: beautiful
Monday, March 10, 2008
I watched the video, pausing ever so often to get those quotes and here they are.
Without music, life would be a mistake
Music was invented to confirm human loneliness
Music is the shorthand of emotion
Music expresses that which cannot be said
on which it is impossible to be silent
Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe,
wings to the mind, flight to the imagination,
and charm and gaeity, to life and everything.
A painter paints pictures on canvas,
But musicians paints their pictures on silence.
See deep enough, and you see musically;
the heart of nature being everywhere music.
In the end, I think of music
as saving grace for all humanity.
Music is well said to be the speech of angels;
in fact, nothing among the utterances allowed to men is felt
to be so divine. It brings us near to the infinite.
Those quotes did make me ponder on the impact music has on our lives.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Love is patient and kind,
Love does not envy or boast,
It is not arrogant or rude,
Love does not insist on its own way,
Is not irritable or resentful,
Love bears all things,
believes all things
hopes all things,
endures all things.
I think that is absolutely beautiful. I looked up the First Corinthians and this is a slightly different version of Marshal’s but just as meaningful.
Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
I want that kind of love, so simple, yet deep and strong. We all deserve that much.
I grew up with the notion that I'll be a coffee lover. I remember all the coffee ads on TV, especially Nescafe. They make coffee drinking look very classy, stylish even, it sets you apart from the rest. Well, that and the coffee brand. And of course, my parents’ morning ritual where coffee is part of breakfast. The aroma fills the kitchen and sometimes I may even get a whiff from my room. Every time I asked them if I could drink coffee, they said it is only for the grown ups. Small kids like me have to settle for Milo and Vico. That made me want to drink coffee even more coz that way it symbolizes I’m grown up and old enough to do grown up stuff.
You must understand, myself as a 5 year old child view growing up with excitement. It means I get to drive, go shopping (yes, I started young from following my mum around), wear make-up (from watching my mother getting dressed for work) and of course drinking coffee. I love the idea of being independent and the thought of inserting a card at a machine which gives out free money!
So I grew up with time. Alas, I am as good as allergic to coffee. I had no idea the effect coffee has on me until I entered uni. Somewhere around my foundation year, I bought coffee flavoured love letters by mistake. I was starving and ate about half a pack of it. What happened after that is a complete blur for me. But this was what my roomie had to say:
“Ohkulala, you were high!! Seriously, seriously high. You were laughing so much and even started doing this happy dance, encouraging me, Ah Hua and Ah Sha to follow suit. You also displayed the hyper activeness of an ADD child.” – Ah Nee
Apparently, the episode was quite… bad. Hilarious to me but not for the rest. Similar episodes have occurred over the years every time the word coffee is heard. And so I was banned from coffee.
Fast-forward 4 years; I can drink coffee without getting high under certain circumstances:
a) if I face severe lack of sleep, but the amount of coffee is only half a sachet mixed with Milo, so its technically Neslo.
b) consumed before 2pm or else ill not be able to sleep the whole night.
Haha… ok, Starbucks is my only vice when it comes to coffee. Not that I drink at Starbucks very often, but I do love the Java Chip Frappuccino and during Christmas season, I dig the Soy Milk Toffee Nut Latte. Throughout internship, I had just enough money to make it through each month without the luxury to indulge in anything beyond the absolutely-necessary. In those 8 months, all I could do was look, and walk past Starbucks hoping the scent of oh-so-lovely coffee would satisfy my appetite for Starbucks. I’m glad to take back my role as a student coz now I can afford to satisfy my occasional cravings :).
And for every day else, I have my faithful Milo.
PS: I make very good Milo too!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Okl: Hey, is that fish curry?
(AJ stirs and scoops out what appears to be …)
AJ: It is chicken.
Okl: No, that’s fish
AJ: It is chicken la.
Okl: It is fish.
(AJ then turns to the guy next to him)
AJ: Can you tell me, is that chicken or fish?
Okl: Really? But it seriously looks like fish!
And then halfway through dinner, AJ confessed that he almost changed his mind about it being chicken because I seemed so confident that it was fish. Damn, should have gone on a little longer and he probably could be convinced I was right, even when I wasn’t. *evil grin*
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The thing about expectations is that, it does come with strings attached. As a child, we are expected to be obedient. When we go to people’s houses, our parents can be assured that their kid is not be the spoilt brat running around with a stolen toy of another child throwing a tantrum screaming their lungs away. They can be proud to note their little darlings are angels in disguise. All my mum had to do was give me a cold hard stare so much if I tip-toe out of line, and Ill go right back where I should be.
In school, there were rules and regulations to adhere to. And not forgetting, the expectations of us to perform well in school. No one will complain of a child who brings home a string of A’s or a truck load of trophies from various tournaments, games and sports.
The thing about expectations is that when they are not met, we get disappointed. The level of disappointment is proportional to the level of closeness you are to the person. Then there is a saying, learn to not expect. That way, you will be spared from dissatisfaction. And learn to accept everything that comes your way. While it is easy to say, it is not so easy to do. What if the expectations have a basis and ground to it?
How am I supposed to not expect my best friend to keep my biggest secret? Or a team member to not come up with good work? Or my parents to not turn their backs against me in my hour of need? I cant, I would expect all that and I don’t think it’s wrong or unfair.
And the irony is that, the people closest to you, hurts you the most when they don’t live up to your expectations. And by expectations, I don’t mean ridiculous ones, just the basic, realistic expectations that come with the circumstances you are in. I would not expect 100 roses for Valentine’s Day, a simple hand-made card made lovingly would suffice. I would not expect a huge bash for my birthday, a nice cosy dinner with a candle on my cake would do. I would not expect a car from my parents as my graduation present (though I will not decline if I get it), their proud faces of their eldest child getting her scroll is priceless.
So am I not to expect anything then? I don’t think so. Because they are things also expected out of me and I do go my way to meet them. We all do. Then, why can’t some people do the same?
Expectations go two ways, if one party is always letting down the other, how can you expect things to remain oh-so-happy? Pretending that nothing is happening is worse, confront it, explain it then give people a chance to remedy their ways or to take notice and then act. And after all that, you know you have at least tried.
So, to expect or not to expect?
Monday, March 3, 2008
I don’t like it when I encounter a grey area, where nothing is absolutely certain. The line between black and white, good and bad becomes blurred, you could be in black and next thing you know, you have stumbled into a hazy, smoky grey. In making decisions, it becomes so much harder. With the passage of time, the inevitable will happen. I just need to get my head and heart to agree with each other.
Emotionally, I lean towards the darkest shade of grey. I feel bad, like I’m not being completely honest. The guilt in possible pleasure takes away all the satisfaction of it.
Mentally, I’m in right next to white, I’m not doing anything wrong. Everyone should be given the option to venture and try new things before settling on the one they like best. I am merely breaking free and am in the phase of trying.
I don’t know what I will like yet, but I’m sure at the end of the adventure, the answer I am looking for will stand out like a sore thumb.
I have stalled this dilemma long enough and it has finally caught up, looking at me with a grin knowing how much I’m cringing here. So ill follow my mind, and I believe my heart will follow suit.
And I stick to my stand, I do not like grey areas.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
But that all when out of the window after the phone call I received from my mother. It did not go well. I’m upset and angry with her. She is upset and angry with me.
I’m also confused right now with the things happening around me. It is funny how I thought things would turn out one way and they go the other.
So I sat and talked and ranted and poured out to my dearest roomie. I feel so much better to just let it all out. Thank you so much for listening Ah Sha.
And I miss my other two girlfriends. I miss Ah Hua who is all the way in Kerteh who I absolutely look forward to meeting next week. I miss Ah Nee who is flying off to Bintulu today at 11.35am. I miss the times we four girls are together; we talk for hours, hug, cheer, cry, rant, laugh and poke fun at each other. Missing you girls loads *bear hugs*
He got into the car. The rev of the engine broke the silence as they drove away. Unforgettable by at Nat King Cole plays at the background, Sophie’s favourite song. Jake looks at the beautiful girl next to him and reaches out for her hand. “What’s wrong darling?” he asks. “You don’t seem yourself after the movie ended; you have not said a word since then.”
“I’m alright.” She managed a tiny smile.
“You know, you need to be a little more convincing for me to believe you.”
“Really, I’m fine.”
Sophie quickly turns away before he could get a look at her face. Jake gentle turns her face towards him and lifts her chin upwards. Sophie kept her eyes downcast. A stubborn little tear escaped and trickled down her cheeks. Sophie looks into Jake’s eyes.
“I don’t want to go back. I wish the night did not come so fast. I just want to be with you. I hate being apart, so far away from you and when we are together, time does not do us justice. I… I… I’m already missing you terribly.”
Another tear rolled down. Jake wiped it off her pretty little face. He sighs.
“I know exactly what you mean, I feel it too my dear. But look at it this way; we will see each other again …soon. We will have a wonderful time together as always. And one day will come; we shall not be apart anymore.”
The corner of her mouth slightly upturned, Sophie took comfort in his words. Yes, there will be another time to meet. And someday, they will always be together.
The car stops in front a cottage, smoke coming out of the chimney. Jake opens the door for his lady, leading her out of the car. They stood out at the gate, both not wanting to say anything.
“I miss you, everyday, all the time, even when I don’t say it. Sophie Darling, I Love You.” Jake brings her closer, holding her in a warm embrace.
Their lips touch.
Time stood still.
Sophie looks up, “I Love You Jake”.
The gate creeks as Sophie open it, walking very slowly towards her home. She stops. Sophie turns around, runs back to Jake, hugging him very tightly, her eyes glistening and kisses him. “I miss you very much and I love you with all my heart.”
Both doors shut tight.
Both heads leaned backwards.
Both with eyes closed.
Both lost in thought.
Both loved each another.